


Darling, Watch Me Gasp

by Phillipa19



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Angst, Bad Boy Zayn, Blow Jobs, Bottom Niall, Drinking, Drug Use, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Homophobia, Insecurity, Jealousy, Liam is a Good Friend, Louis is a little heartless but weak for his boy, M/M, Oral Sex, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Smut, Top Zayn, University AU, Unsafe Sex, back ground larry, but niall is saved so don't worry, but they're both clean it's fine, by the way he just follows niall and gropes him, harry just has a shitload of issues and a little problem with substance abuse, i just thought id mention it here so no one gets mad, i'll tag more as i go along, niall has a friend group rife with issues, references to non con, sex stuff in public toilets, the non con is just a creeper, there's past ziam but not really, zayn is a massive twat but niall likes him anyway, ziall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-21
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-16 10:31:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1344211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phillipa19/pseuds/Phillipa19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall has been warned a thousand times not to go near him, but something tells him that Zayn maybe isn't as bad as he seems, and he can't help but melt every time the leather-clad bastard gives him one of his rare smiles.</p><p>OR-<br/>Niall is a good boy from Ireland and should be listening to his best friend and staying away from boys like Zayn, but apparently his sanity has gone out the window. Zayn sleeps with anything he finds beautiful and is a little too honest for his own good. Harry takes far too many drugs to escape the badness in the world. Louis just wants to love Harry. And Liam just wants to strangle them all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Remember That I Liked You

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what I'm trying to accomplish with this fic. Blame people who masterpost Zayn picking Niall up all the time.  
> Enjoy :)
> 
> Chapter title is from 'Heart Out' by The 1975  
> xx

“Have you ever known someone who’s just . . . breakable?” Liam asked Niall. To be honest, Niall didn’t know if he wanted to hear this. Harry always seemed so happy and flirty and just . . . perfect. He didn’t know if he wanted to be told that that was all a big lie, that his friend wasn’t so happy after all.

 

Niall had moved to England 6 months ago for university, and Harry had been the first friend he’d made, taking pity on the Irish boy who knew no one.

 

“He always looks so happy, though,” Niall felt the need to protest, and Liam gave him a little smile.

 

“Harry is like the two sides of a coin, he’s happy and loves the world, but he’s also the most vulnerable person I’ve ever known. He just can’t handle a lot, you know? Uses bad techniques of stress relief that get him into bad situations. He got in debt with a dealer a few years back and it’s a bloody good thing Louis got the money easy enough. Only reason Harry was so in debt was because his parents had refused to give him any more money that month, I think they suspected he was using it to buy drugs.” Liam took another sip of his beer before carrying on. “You might be a little confused by him and Louis, but even though they’re pretty damn explosive, they’re also really good for each other. Louis is like Harry’s shield, keeps enough of the bad stuff away that Harry can continue functioning like a semi-regular person. Means we only have to deal with his self-destructive phases every now and then, instead of at least once a week.

 

“And Harry is Louis’ . . .” Liam smirked before continuing, “Louis’ heart. Louis can be a really mean bastard at times, and Harry softens that. When Harry’s around, you can just tell by looking at Louis’ face, in his eyes. Louis is so stupidly focussed on his grades and business because his dad is really hard on him about ‘continuing the family business’,” Liam made a disgusted face and crooked his fingers in air quotes, and Niall got the distinct impression that he never wanted to meet Louis’ dad, because if Mr Liam-I’m-friendly-to-every-one-Payne didn’t like him, then he had to be a bit of a tosser to put it lightly.

 

“Louis just gets lost in his head, busy thinking three steps ahead of everyone else, and Harry just pulls him out, kicking and screaming, forces him to care,” Liam shrugged.

 

“And what . . . What about Zayn?” Niall asked shyly, feeling his face flush with heat, knew his cheeks must be bright red. Liam smiled at him in a knowing way, but there was a look of worry in his eyes.

 

“You shouldn’t let yourself be curious about Zayn, mate. He’s . . . Not exactly friendly,” Liam said carefully. Niall took a sip of his own beer before speaking.

 

“Why is he so bad? He doesn’t look that bad,” Niall said, knowing he was speaking utter bullshit. Zayn was a leather-clad, tattoo-printed, metal-pierced nightmare. He looked like he could kick the shit out of anyone and smile while doing it. To be honest, Niall was terrified of him, knew he couldn’t handle a guy like that. But maybe that’s what drew him nearer. Zayn was something Niall had never experienced before. Niall knew he probably would never actually sleep with the guy, didn’t really wanna be fucked-and-chucked, no matter how hot Zayn is. But he couldn’t help but at least be curious, want to know everything about him. The only thing Niall really knew was that the only person he’d seen coax a genuine smile out of the guy had been Harry, and that didn’t say much since the green-eyed lad was irresistible when he charmed his way into your heart.

 

“Zayn is one of my best friends, don’t get me wrong, but Niall? Don’t go there. He’ll fuck you about then walk away without a backwards glance. It’s just how he is. He’s a great friend, would help hide the body, but he isn’t a nice boyfriend. He drinks too much and cheats on everyone, he doesn’t give a damn how many hearts he breaks,” Liam said seriously and Niall nodded shakily, not meeting his eyes as he takes a desperate sip of his pint.

 

Thing is, Niall could have ignored how attractive Zayn was- well, he could have pretended to, anyway- if he was an utter dick to him, but Zayn had this bad habit of being stupidly sweet on very rare occasions and it made Niall a little stupid around him. He and Zayn hadn’t really spoken for the first few months, Zayn was just Louis’ intimidating friend who sat playing on his phone and occasionally answering Harry and Louis, but last month something had changed.

 

Niall is a pretty happy and laid-back person, and he know he can push the limit on just plain lazy, but even he could get wound up about certain things. He’d been out clubbing with Harry and Harry had wandered off, talking some girl into letting him borrow her scarf so he could wear it in his hair, and Niall had stayed on the dance floor. It hadn’t been long until hands came to rest on his hips and he’d turned around to politely tell whoever it was that he wasn’t interested- unless they looked a little like Dan from Bastille- and come face to face with a guy he’d noticed watching him and Harry all night. The guy was maybe in his early thirties, and not in a good way. He’d tried to grow a beard put it was one of those patchy messes that simply need to be shaved off and kept that way, and his hair was slicked back and greasy in a way that screamed ‘trying-too-hard’.

 

“I have a boyfriend,” Niall had lied and the guy had given him this _look_ , and Niall had known to keep an eye out from that point on.

 

From that point on, everywhere he’d looked, the guy had been staring at him from the edge of the crowd, his eyes lustful and frankly just stalker-ish. Niall had quickly lost his buzz and wandered in search of Harry so he could go home. Harry was nowhere to be found so he sent him a quick text.

 

_The fuck are you?_

_Hey, this is Lou. Harry rang all drunk and shit so I picked him up, he didn’t say he was out with you. Want me to swing back and pick you up? x_

 

Niall cursed and shook his head tiredly. Typical. It wasn’t that Harry is careless, he just drinks too much and will swallow any pills handed to him and tends to forget who he’s with.

 

_Nah, I’ll get a taxi, thanks tho Lou xx_

 

Niall texted back before sliding his phone back into his blue skinny jeans. He headed out front and asked some drunk girl in a bubble-gum pink dress where he could get a taxi, she gave him a spontaneous hug and told him there was a place just down the street and around the corner. He gave her a hug thank you and she gave him a purple-lipstick kiss on the cheek that probably stained his pale skin.

 

He headed down the road and the further he was from the club, the less people there were, until he was basically alone. He walked in peaceful silence, in that state of tiredness and fuzziness that predates the hangover, the calm before the storm, so to speak. Until suddenly a hand clamped around his wrist and he was yanked sideways into an alley, another hand coming up to cover his mouth and smother his yell of shock.

 

Niall wasn’t fucking delicate and he was putting up a good fight, but he was sloppy and still drunk and a little fuzzy around the edges, so it wasn’t long until he was face first against a wall, what he’d now figured was a man, pressed firm to his back and panting in his ear.

 

“So where’s your boyfriend, blondie?” came a low voice in his ear and a wave of revulsion hit his stomach; the guy from the club. Niall struggled harder but the guy wasn’t letting him slip an inch, one hand still bruisingly tight against Niall’s mouth. Niall grunted hard in pain as the guy yanked his hair sharply so Niall’s throat was bared for his tongue, and Niall shuddered in disgust. The guy’s hand had just begun to inch towards Niall’s waistband when he heard a throat being cleared at the mouth of the alley. Niall began to struggle harder, he didn’t know who the intruder was, but he knew he needed help right now.

 

“There’s this thing, it’s called consent, maybe you’ve heard of it? Or has the grease in your hair blocked your ears?” came a voice that was surprisingly familiar.

 

“Fuck off,” The guy snapped back and Niall rolled his eyes at that. Creative.

 

“I’m gonna give you five seconds to get your hands off of him,” the familiar voice replied and Niall felt his stomach drop a little at how threatening that sounded.

 

“Or what?” the guy snapped and Niall heard the intruder’s husky chuckle in response. Apparently the guy decided not to risk it, because he let go of Niall and went as if to make a run for it. Niall stumbled and fell, but managed to turn to face the intruder. Who was now holding the guy with a hand around his neck and a bored expression. Who Niall now realised was Zayn. What?

 

It happened too fast for Niall’s blurry vision to follow, but Zayn’s fists connected with the guy’s face in quick succession and the creep went down like a ton of bricks.

 

Zayn finally met Niall’s wide eyes and gave him a careful smile.

 

“You okay, sunshine?” Zayn murmured and Niall nodded shakily, too shocked to respond to the endearment. Zayn walked over and crouched in front of him, tilting his head to the side as he appraised Niall’s flushed face with his bottom lip split and bleeding from the struggle. “Let’s get you home.”


	2. You Tread A Troubled Track

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from- "Back to Black" cover by Andre 3000 feat Beyonce.
> 
> I don't really know . . . enjoy, I guess?

Maybe it was because he didn’t just drop Niall off at his student housing, maybe it was because he didn’t just leave him alone to deal with it, and maybe Niall would never really understand why Zayn took him to his flat.

 

They’d gotten to Zayn’s, and it said a lot about how shaken Niall was, that he didn’t even question it. Zayn had paid for the taxi and quietly lead Niall up the front steps and into his house. He muttered something about a first aid kit and headed off towards what Niall thought was the kitchen, and Niall simply stood in the centre of the living room where Zayn had left him, staring blankly at the wall whilst trying not to freak-the-fuck-out. He jumped a few minutes later when Zayn’s hand touched his arm and Zayn retracted his hand quickly as if Niall had burned him.

 

“Sit on the couch,” Zayn murmured lightly and Niall had shakily sat down and still couldn’t make himself meet Zayn’s eyes. He was embarrassed. He’d been in a bad situation and hadn’t been able to take care of himself, he’d had to be saved. Zayn sat beside him but made sure they did not touch, the first aid kit sat on his lap, but he made no move to open it. Niall suddenly felt even more ashamed and moved to grab the kit.

 

“I can do it, it’s fine,” he muttered, but his shaky fingers couldn’t get the catch on the box to open and it made him steadily more frustrated and upset, until suddenly Zayn’s hand had closed over his and gently pulled the kit from his grasp.

 

Zayn hadn’t said a word as he opened the kit and pulled out some cotton wool pads and poured some antiseptic onto them, but he paused before touching Niall’s face.

 

“Is it okay if I . . .” Zayn’s voice was hesitant, like he was unused to asking for things, and Niall took comfort in the fact that he wasn’t the only one on shaky ground, so he nodded slightly and Zayn began to clean his split lip and grazed cheek. When he was done he smoothed a cooling cream over the top, and as his thumb swiped over Niall’s cheekbone, Niall had made the mistake of finally meeting Zayn’s dark gaze. They’d gazed at each other almost curiously for a few minutes, before Zayn’s husky voice broke the easy silence. “You shouldn’t walk around alone at night.”

 

“I was with Harry but he ditched me . . . Just, thank you, for, you know . . .” Niall trailed off almost uncertain.

 

“S’okay.” Was all Zayn said in response and Niall nodded, causing Zayn to move his hand away from Niall’s face, causing a disconcerting feeling of disappointment in Niall’s stomach. Zayn stood suddenly before turning to leave and Niall was uncertain of what he was supposed to do until Zayn turned back to look at him with a raised brow, “Coming, sunshine?”

 

That night Niall had slept in Zayn’s bed with him, the space between them feeling endless, and Niall felt too afraid to breach the gap.

 

***

 

From that moment on, Niall had been on a rollercoaster ride in terms of his emotions towards Zayn. At times he’d been that same remote person that Niall had seen every day before The Incident, but rarely he’d be softer, would walk up to Niall at a party and brush his hand over Niall’s hip almost teasingly, with a soft murmur of “Okay, sunshine?”, and Niall would nod with a jumping heart, and Zayn would smile before leaving him to re-join the party.

 

And none of that compared to the time that they’d all been out at an end-of-exams party and Niall had met a cute boy. Danny was a guy who’d been in Niall’s music theory class and they’d exchanged a few flirty looks but it had never actually gone anywhere. Danny had been casually touching Niall at every opportunity, giving him these knowing little looks, and Niall had been pretty sure he wasn’t going home alone that night. Until Zayn came over.

 

Zayn hadn’t even done anything drastic, but Niall had noticed each little thing he did, every little move that screamed 'possessive'. And apparently Danny had noticed too, because after only a few moments he’d made his excuses and left, leaving Zayn with a satisfied smirk. Niall had simply shook his head in exasperation.

 

“He was a nice guy, you know,” Niall had grumbled, moving to lean with his back to the wall, and Zayn had moved to stand in front of him, one hand pressed to the wall by Niall’s head.

 

“He had stupid hair,” Zayn shrugged, his smile growing a little, before he’d ducked in to peck Niall’s temple and walking away without a backwards look.

 

But all of these thoughts took a back seat when Niall looked up from his pint to see Zayn walking into the pub. Liam turned to see what had caught Niall’s gaze and rolled his eyes when he noticed Zayn.

 

Zayn saw the two of them and headed over, sliding into the booth beside Liam, across from Niall’s seat.

 

“Hey,” Zayn muttered before reaching over to steal a sip of Niall’s pint which caused the blond boy to frown until Zayn shot him a half-smile.

 

“Hi. Haz and Lou will be here in a bit, didn’t know you were coming tonight. Thought you had a date?” Liam asked and Niall looked down at his pint so that he didn’t look too interested in the topic.

 

“Nah, she found out I shagged her brother and apparently that was something I should have told her,” Zayn shrugged and Liam rolled his eyes. “So she cancelled. Although, to be fair, she never asked me if I fucked him.” Just then a short, red-headed girl wandered up to the table and smirked at Zayn.

 

“Hey babe, so . . . last week was fun, we should do that again,” she purred in what she obviously thought was a seductive manner and Niall almost felt a little bad for her, because he could see that look in Zayn’s eyes, the one that said he was completely uninterested.

 

“Love, I’m gonna be frank, ‘cause I don’t believe in lying. I don’t actually remember your name, I’m sure you’re lovely an’ everything, but I don’t think another date is on the table,” He said plainly, not really cruel but also not being soft about it, and Niall cringed internally at the embarrassment blazing in the girl’s cheeks.

 

“You’re a twat, Zayn,” the girl spat before flouncing off to re-join her friends.

 

“Mate . . . You could’ve been a bit nicer to her,” Liam admonished lightly, frowning at Zayn who shrugged lazily at him.

 

“Do you want me to lie? Tell her I wanna see her and that I’ll call, so that she can sit around waiting because _I’m not actually gonna call her_?” Zayn asked bluntly and it was harsh but . . . he kind of had a point. At least this way she could get over him, not stuck waiting around for her phone to ring. It was still dick-ish, but in a black and white way Niall could understand, even if he wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that. “The fuck is the point of that.”

 

“It’s called being a nice person.” Liam replied with a roll of his eyes, causing Zayn to grin.

 

“I’m a lovely person, aren’t I, sunshine?” Zayn directed that last bit to Niall and he felt his cheeks redden slightly, but still responded with as much sarcasm as he could.

 

“Totally, you’re a right peach,” he replied dryly, causing Liam to bark out a laugh. Just then Louis and Harry came barrelling over and whilst Liam was distracted with the two of them Niall was caught in Zayn’s eyes as he gave Niall a wicked look and moved his feet to hook around the backs of Niall’s ankles so their feet were linked. Niall blushed a little and looked away to greet Harry and Louis.

 

Harry smushed himself up against Niall to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and Louis looked over Harry’s shoulder to give him a wide grin and a ‘hello, fucker,’ and the whole time Niall was highly conscious of Zayn’s feet around his, their legs pressed together warmly.

 

“Thought you were off fucking some girl from your art course?” Louis grinned and Zayn snorted.

 

“Nah, wanted to see you wankers instead,” Zayn smirked back and Louis barked out a laugh that had other people in the pub turning to look.

 

Niall watched curiously as Harry snuggled into Louis’ side, brushing his nose against the older boy’s neck, and could see what Liam meant. He’d never actually seen two people who fit better than Harry and Louis. Louis continued to banter with Liam and Zayn, voice abrasive and right arm flailing to enunciate his point, but his left arm lay soft around Harry, thumb stroking the back of Harry’s neck softly. It was like, no matter what he was doing, there was always some little part of Louis that was wholly focussed on loving Harry and keeping him happy. And now that he was looking for it, he noticed how whenever Harry looked up at him as if to gain his attention, or even simply murmured his name in the middle of one of Louis’ sentences, Louis would automatically stop whatever he was doing and smile down at Harry waiting to know what Harry wanted from him, whether it was to tell him some inane point, or to simply ask for a kiss. They flowed, and Niall felt a little envious of that, wished he had someone who cared that deeply about him.

 

Zayn’s foot nudged him then, jostling his leg and yanking him out of his sad and longing thoughts, but when Niall looked up to Zayn’s face, Zayn was still speaking to Liam, as if he hadn’t just pulled Niall back out of his head. Niall smiled to himself. Now if only Zayn would stop shagging half the population then maybe . . . but that was naivety at its best, wasn’t it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those wondering, the smut will be in a couple chapters. 
> 
> Please comment with ideas about what you want in this fic, I like taking your opinions on board with fics like this one, so just let me know :)  
> xxx


	3. I’m Not Try’na Fuck Tomorra’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here comes the smut . . . 
> 
> Chapter title is from The Weeknd - Drunk in Love (Weeknd Remix)

The last time Niall could remember sitting in a deserted park past midnight was back when he was 13, and a lot of things about tonight were similar to back then, such as the spliff he raised to his lips and took a lazy drag of. Blame Harry.

 

Harry had come over to his student accommodation and bitched and moaned until Niall had agreed to go to the park with him. The second Niall’s arse had hit the swing Harry had produced the little roll of weed with a wide grin, and now, 3 hours later, he could feel that lazy numbness in each of his limbs, head lolling to the side to grin down at Harry. Niall had declared the climbing frame as his castle, and Harry had decided to be a knight and try to ride one of those little horses that sat on a coil of spring, but it’d leaned far too much due to his weight and he’d toppled off with a yelp and now lay spread-eagled on the damp, wood-chip covered floor.

 

“We don’t do this often enough,” Harry grinned up at him.

 

“Because you spend all your free time sucking Louis’ off,” Niall snorted.

 

“Heeeeey,” Harry drawled in mock offence. “Sorry if I think my boyfriend is hot,” Harry shrugged with a small smile.

 

“How’re things with you guys anyway?” Niall asked, remembering Liam’s words about how much trouble Harry secretly went through.

 

“Great . . . Yeah, I mean . . .” Harry stopped suddenly with a furrowed brow and Niall sensed something was coming. “His dad, he’s just, like, he knows we’re a thing and he’s nice to me, but . . . I mean, he kinda has to be nice to me since I’ve known him since I was like 5. He just . . . He’s been even harder on Louis ever since we decided to completely be out about our relationship. At first just our families and close friends knew but we got sick of pretending to just be friends. His dad got kinda pissed off about that. He thought we were just a phase and we’d just grow out of it, you know? But when we came out I think he realised that we were actually serious. He wants Louis to get his degree and continue the family business, marry some nice girl and give him a bunch of grandchildren, and I mean, I can’t fault the guy for that but . . . I could kinda give him that, couldn’t I? I mean, we could like, adopt?” Niall had never heard Harry say so much at once, and it made it blindingly obvious that he’d been bottling this up for a while to hide it from Louis.

 

“Yeah, you could, Haz,” Niall said softly as Harry frowned up at the night sky.

 

“I mean, I could stay at home and do that whole house wife thing. Make him his tea for when he gets home from work, look after our kids . . . I want to be that. I want to be Louis’ everything, the one he comes home to . . . But his dad is just so sure that I won’t be. You know what he said to me the other day?” Harry looked up at Niall suddenly, green eyes suddenly bright and clear, not dazed with smoke.

 

“What?” Niall asked with a dry throat.

 

“He said that since me and Lou are so close he’s expecting a fantastic best man’s speech at Louis’ wedding.” The words were stark and fell heavily into the space between them.

 

“Fuck,” Niall murmured and scrambled uncoordinatedly down from the climbing frame, making his way to sprawl out beside his friend, moving so he clasped Harry’s cold fingers in his own.

 

“What if Louis listens to him?” Harry whispered suddenly and Niall had the feeling that this was the real problem. He sat up and quickly yanked Harry until they sat facing each other, cross-legged.

 

“Harry, that boy loves you more than anything. He’s not going to leave you just because his dad is too stupid to see how great you two are together,” Niall said firmly, forcing Harry to meet his eyes.

 

“It’s just . . . He’s everything,” Harry shrugged helplessly and Niall saw his dependence clear as day. Niall always noticed the utter need between Harry and Louis, but he was only just starting to realise how utterly dependent they are on each other.

 

“I know, Haz,” Niall said, giving Harry a weak smile. Part of him was terrified that Harry wouldn’t last if by some witchcraft Louis did leave him, but another part wanted to know what that felt like. Problem is that Niall never took enough risks to even get close to having that kind of connection with someone. An idea came to him then, and maybe it was the fuzzy effects of the drugs that made him consider it, but he was suddenly having to bite his lip on a smile. “Haz? Want me to ring Louis to come get you?”

 

“Yes, please,” Harry replied softly just like Niall knew he would.

 

When Louis’ car finally pulled away with a sleepy Harry in the passenger seat, Niall pulled out his mobile and scrolled all the way to the bottom on his contacts . . . W . . . X . . . Y . . . Z . . . Zayn.

_“Hello, sunshine,”_ came down the phone a few seconds later, Zayn’s voice husky and filled with sleep, making Niall wince a little.

 

“Hi, sorry if I woke you up,” Niall said quickly.

_“Nah, it’s cool, man. What’s up?”_ Zayn asked in his low, drawling voice.

 

“Just wondered if you maybe wanted to hang out?” Niall knew his voice was a little shaky, but he suddenly felt really nervous of what he was doing. Was he making a mistake? Should he really be crossing this line? Because that’s what this was . . . He and Zayn had been moving in this strange dance for weeks, but there were certain things they didn’t push. Zayn may get close enough to kiss him, but Niall wasn’t ever supposed to lean in for it . . . at least he thinks so.

_“Sure, when?”_

 

“Um, now?”

_“. . . Now?”_ Zayn’s voice was incredulous but it held an affectionate tone that made Niall’s stomach flutter.

 

“Right now,” Niall’s voice came out far more breathless than he’d planned and there was a short silence from Zayn’s end of the phone in response.

_“Where are you?”_ Zayn asked in a low tone that made Niall feel a few degrees warmer.

 

“The park near my accom,” Niall replied shakily. Everything felt charged with hidden meaning, and it didn’t help that Niall wasn’t sure whether it was just him or if Zayn felt it too.

_“I’ll be ten minutes,”_ Zayn said simply before he put the phone down, not giving Niall time to respond.

 

***

 

The ride to Zayn’s was silent and Niall couldn’t help shifting around nervously in his seat, but still, Zayn never said a word.

 

As they walked through the front door, Niall heading into the living room with weak knees and Zayn locking the front door behind them, Niall had to take few deep breaths and forced himself to think about whether he was sure of this or not but . . . Maybe that’s the point? He was so damn tired of taking everything so carefully. He wanted to live his fucking life whilst he could, what’s the point in wasting his university experience, after all? So he turned to face Zayn.

 

Zayn stood leaning casually against the doorframe, lazily gazing at Niall, with his arms crossed over his chest. He face was blank but his full lips held the suggestion of a smirk, and his wide brown eyes were veiled slightly by his long, curling lashes.

 

“Hi,” Niall breathed and the smirk finally bloomed across Zayn’s lips, but he still kept silent, eyes idly trailing over every inch of Niall. Finally the silence became too much and Niall hesitantly walked over to the other body, stepping up close and shyly meeting his gaze. When Zayn only gazed back, not making a move to bridge the gap between them, Niall sucked in a breath and licked his dry lips nervously before raising his trembling fingers to Zayn’s face. Niall timidly searched Zayn’s gaze for approval but his dark eyes gave nothing away, so when Niall’s fingers grazed the stubble on his jaw, Niall jumped as if his hand had done so without his permission.

 

Niall’s eyes followed the path his fingers took as they stroked the stubble at the edge of Zayn’s jaw, slowly making a path until they stroked the edge of his full lower lip, and he raised his eyes to once again meet Zayn’s gaze.

 

“You tryin’ to seduce me, sunshine?” Zayn murmured and his soft, husky voice made Niall slowly press into his chest, Zayn finally uncrossing his arms, and his hands coming to rest on Niall’s hips. “Sure that’ll really work out?” there was a warning in Zayn’s voice, but he was forgetting that Niall knew him well enough, knew where the lines were with them.

 

“Not asking for a boyfriend, Zayn,” Niall murmured, leaning in close until their lips _almost_ touched with each word spoken. “. . . Just a fuck,” Niall said bluntly, ignoring the slight blush that stained his cheeks in response.

 

“Just a fuck?” Zayn asked, tone almost curious, and Niall nodded shakily, finding it hard to keep meeting Zayn’s gaze. “I think I can do that,” Zayn murmured in a thoughtful tone before suddenly surging forwards to firmly press their lips together, making Niall let out a soft ‘ _umph!_ ’ of surprise, before he gathered his senses and kissed Zayn back just as passionately.

 

Niall tried to stay firm but it took all of 5 seconds before he melted onto Zayn’s chest, arms reaching up to wrap around Zayn’s neck, pulling himself close until their hips aligned and Zayn used his grip on Niall’s hip bones to moved them together in a determined grind that had Niall’s lips dropping wide as he moaned into Zayn’s mouth. Zayn used his distraction to nip at Niall’s upper lip with his teeth before licking into his mouth to brush their tongues together wetly. The kiss was hot and messy and uncoordinated as fuck but Niall had never felt so turned on in his life.

 

Zayn slid one hand up to tightly clasp the back of Niall’s neck, and slid his other to the front of Niall’s jeans, sliding the button from its whole easily before thrusting his hand down the front of Niall’s jeans and boxers. His long fingers circled Niall’s dick tightly and Niall’s hips stuttered helplessly into the touch.

 

“S-shit,” Niall stuttered against Zayn’s mouth and he felt the other boy’s plump lips tilt in a satisfied smirk.

 

“You okay, sunshine?” Zayn whispered back in a mocking tone that had Niall frowning in determination. Niall pulled his hips back so Zayn’s hand had to slip from his jeans, and dropped to his knees without warning, looking up at Zayn with a raised brow as his fingers shakily undid Zayn’s ripped black jeans.

 

When they were undone Niall moved his hands to Zayn’s knees, suddenly stroking up his thighs, up, up, under Zayn’s t-shirt, bunching up the fabric to show the tattoos on Zayn’s jutted hips. Hands spread on Zayn’s ribs, Niall kept his eyes on Zayn’s as he leant forwards, pressing a soft kiss to the skin just above the waistband of Zayn’s boxers, before suddenly digging his nails into Zayn’s skin and dragging them down his sides roughly, Zayn’s mouth popping open on a breathless groan. As his fingers hit Zayn’s jeans he didn’t stop, roughly pulling them down his slim hips along with his boxers so they caught at his knees, 4 harsh red lines marking Zayn’s olive brown skin from his torso to his knees on both sides. Niall understood that fucking Zayn wouldn’t give him any kind of ownership over the other boy, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t leave a few marks on him to be remembered by.

 

Niall pulled back to run his lips over the hard length of Zayn’s cock, fluttering his lashes to look up at Zayn hotly as he flicked his tongue out to taste his skin. Zayn looked down as him, his eyes blazing with heat as he panted between slightly parted lips. Niall inwardly thanked god that he’d had his braces removed- sucking dick was a little harder with those painful bastards- and opened his mouth wide to _suck_.

 

Niall breathed heavily through his nose as he slid lower, _lower_ , down Zayn’s length, refusing to look away from Zayn’s low-lidded gaze despite the fact his eyes were starting to water a little. Niall breathed out harshly as Zayn nudged at the back of his throat, making his gag reflex flutter anxiously and Zayn’s head drop back to thump against the wall behind him. Niall swallowed heavily and Zayn groaned and fisted his hand in Niall’s hair in response to the contraction of Niall’s throat around his thick length. Suddenly Zayn’s hand in his hair tightened and he yanked backwards, forcing Niall back and off of his length. Niall looked up at Zayn questioningly, his lips parted and gasping and a trail of spit lingering between his lips and the head of Zayn’s cock.

 

“Fuck,” Zayn cursed before dropping to his knees and pressing his lips to Niall’s in a harsh, biting kiss that stung Niall’s already swollen lips. Zayn suddenly growled in frustration before backing off and yanking his clothes from his body before moving onto Niall’s. When their skin was finally bare Zayn moved forwards, pushing Niall back until his pale skin hit the slightly rough texture of the carpet. Zayn moved so he half lay over Niall’s body, the full lengths of their bodies pressed hot and tight together.

 

Zayn lifted a hand to cup the side of Niall’s face, leaning in to give him a desperate, confident kiss, before pulling back to hover above his lips.

 

“You sure, sunshine?” Zayn breathed against his mouth, and Niall felt a little flutter of uncertainty in the pit of his stomach. Was he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, please leave a comment about what you thought :)


	4. All These Tattoos On My Skin They Turn You On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys :) Sorry for the long wait :/ I hope this makes up for it :)
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter title is from 'Or Nah' by The Weeknd (Remix)

With each shift of Zayn’s muscled body against his, it got harder and harder to think clearly, to decide finally whether this was a good idea or not. Zayn lay patient above him, belying the insistent, hard press of his cock at Niall’s hip. But the other boy’s brown eyes were wide and calm, giving Niall the time he needed to decide, and it was that that convinced him. Zayn wasn’t as bad as Liam had made out, he wasn’t just after each easy fuck, or he would’ve made attempts to persuade Niall- and he could’ve, Niall wouldn’t have been hard to convince. But Niall wasn’t stupid so he leant up to give Zayn a soft kiss before speaking, pouring the words directly into Zayn’s mouth.

“I’m still your friend, Zayn. Afterwards you can’t just act like it didn’t happen or brush me off, and I won’t do that to you either. Friends, but . . . just a fuck,” Niall repeated. Zayn pursed his lips for a seconds, eyelashes curling low to hide his gaze for a moment before he looked up to once again meet Niall’s wide blue eyes. 

“I wouldn’t treat you like that, sunshine. You know me better than that,” Zayn said, and there was a look in Zayn’s eyes that said he knew what Liam would have told Niall, knew what people thought of him, but also knew that Niall had seen through some of that to what Zayn was really like. So Niall nodded.

“I know,” Niall whispered before lifting a hand to cup the back of Zayn’s neck, pulling him down to press their lips together hotly. They fell back into quickly, too much sexual tension between them for it to have been dampened by a short pause.

Zayn’s hand slid from Niall’s pale hip up until it loosely circled the base of Niall’s neck and he couldn’t help himself, he tilted his head back, welcoming the feel of Zayn’s fingers pressing on the skin of his neck, not enough to cut off his breathing but enough to spark heat in Niall’s abdomen. Zayn quickly caught on, eyes flashing, lips curling in a pleased smirk as his slid his fingers higher to get a better grip before pressing his lips back against Niall’s, biting harshly at his lower lip. When Zayn used his other hand to clasp the skin behind Niall’s knee and pull it sideways, spreading the other boy’s legs so that he could comfortably fit between them, the added sensation made Niall choke on a helpless moan, as their lengths pressed together between their stomachs.

Niall gasped in protest as Zayn’s weight suddenly disappeared, and he looked up to see Zayn stood unabashedly naked above him, smirk still in place and cheeks flushed in arousal. He held out a hand and Niall took it, let himself be pulled up until he could lean into Zayn’s chest and receive an almost chaste kiss.

“Wait here,” Zayn breathed against his mouth before heading out of the living room and up the stairs. Niall huffed and raised an eyebrow at the empty room. Well. Naked in Zayn’s living room certainly hadn’t been featured in his plans at any point so he wasn’t sure what to make of the progression.

He cupped his hands over his hard-on as well as he could and decided to do a little snooping while Zayn did whatever had been important enough to leave a naked and horny Niall. He’d just turned to the fireplace and begun to inspect his reflection in the mirror hung above it when he noticed movement behind his shoulder. He looked behind himself in the mirror and smiled a little. Zayn stood leaning against the door frame, a bottle of lube and a packet of condoms in one hand. Niall supposed he could forgive him for the abandonment, then.

“Anyone ever tell you how gorgeous you are?” Zayn asked casually and Niall nearly tripped over his own feet as he turned to face him.

“Uh . . . decidedly not,” Niall said with a small laugh and a quirk of his lips. Zayn moved to sit on the couch, thighs spread slightly, lube and condom dropped carelessly onto the pillow beside him.

“Come here,” Zayn murmured, dark eyes never leaving Niall’s. Niall swallowed and made his way over to stand between Zayn’s spread knees, hips jutted forwards, hands hanging by his sides uselessly, his breaths coming quick and making him feel a little light-headed. Zayn lifted his hands stroking them from the backs of Niall’s knees, up, up, to brush over the slight curve of his bum, squeezing slightly and making Niall’s eyelashes flutter. He slowly grazed his fingers in the gap between Niall’s cheeks, teasing, until they tickled at the juncture between the tops of his thighs and the curve of his arse. He kept his fingers there as he leant forwards to press a kiss to the closely cropped blond hairs just below Niall’s belly button, his breath tickling and making Niall’s abdomen clench and pleasure shiver up his spine. Zayn’s lips lingered before slowly moving down, leaving a biting trail of kisses that blemished Niall’s pale skin. He moved his mouth to the prominent jut of Niall’s hip bone, pausing a second as if lulling Niall into a false sense of security, before sucking hard, using his tongue and teeth. He sucked as Niall shuddered above him, mouth open and gasping and fingers grasping desperately at Zayn’s hair. When Zayn finally pulled back, his full lips were swollen and obscene, and there was a steadily darkening bruise on Niall’s hip. “If you’re gonna mark me, baby,” Zayn started, pointedly looking at all the scratches Niall had left on his dark skin, “Then you’d better be prepared for the same treatment,” Zayn finished, his voice a deep purr that had Niall’s brows pulling together in desperate arousal, lips still parted and gasping as he nodded in response to Zayn’s statement.

Zayn suddenly tugged on the backs of Niall’s legs until he was tipped forwards and forced to straddle Zayn’s lap or end up in a heap. As soon as Niall settled on top of his thighs, Zayn’s lips were on his, biting and sucking and not giving Niall a chance to catch his breath. So he didn’t, he just gave everything, fingers clutching at Zayn’s shoulders, skin strikingly pale against Zayn’s tanned, tattooed flesh.

When Zayn’s fingers suddenly slipped between the cheeks of his arse, cold and slippery with lube, Niall jumped, making Zayn chuckle into his mouth. Zayn’s fingers were sure and unwavering as they slid over Niall’s entrance until Niall’s body relaxed into the touch and he could slip in the first finger. Niall shifted around, pulling his lips from Zayn’s so he could bury his face in the side of Zayn’s neck, taking deep breaths and trying to adjust to the intrusion of Zayn’s finger.

“You okay, sunshine?” Zayn murmured into Niall’s hair and Niall nodded shakily as he gasped into Zayn’s skin. Zayn had his other hand clamped tight on Niall’s hip and he was using it to steadily grind their hips together as his other hand worked at opening Niall up for him.

“Haven’t done this in a while,” Niall breathed shakily.

“I’ve got you, baby,” Zayn answered before pressing another finger in slowly beside the first, and Niall’s whole body shuddered as Zayn combined the action with a particularly targeted grind that rubbed their lengths together perfectly.

When Zayn was up to three fingers and had been sporadically teasing Niall with light touches to his prostate, Niall was a sweating mess atop him, nearly sobbing with arousal. Zayn removed his fingers and carelessly wiped them on the couch before reaching over to grab a condom. Niall grabbed it from him and opened it with trembling fingers. He slid it slowly down Zayn’s length, teeth biting into his own bottom lip, before reaching for the lube and slicking up Zayn’s cock generously.

Before Niall could lift himself up, Zayn yanked him forwards into a kiss that was a lot softer than what Niall had been expecting. Niall melted into it happily until he was smiling against Zayn’s lips. Zayn pulled back with a matching smile, rubbing their noses together once before pulling back and helping Niall sit up and angle himself above Zayn’s dick.

“Ready?” Zayn asked and when Niall shakily nodded he started to push his hips up as Niall slowly lowered his own, Niall’s mouth dropping open on a moan and his head tipping back as he finally bottomed out. He took a moment to enjoy the ripples of pleasure in his abdomen from the tight stretch of his muscles before looking down to find Zayn shamelessly staring at Niall’s face with a hungry light in his brown eyes.

Niall braced his hands on Zayn’s chest and slowly began to lift himself up, Zayn’s hands stroking slowly up and down Niall’s thighs in reassurance. Niall dropped back down a little faster than he’d intended and a moan was punched out of him on impact, at the sound Zayn seemed to let go of whatever restraint he’d had, gripping tight at the hair at the nape of Niall’s neck and yanking him forwards into a punishing kiss. He moved both hands to grasp Niall’s hips as Niall rested their chests together, planted his own feet, and began to steadily fuck up into Niall’s trembling body.

Niall gasped into his mouth and held on tight as Zayn steadily increased his pace until he was jarring Niall’s whole body with each thrust. This added to the press on his cock between their stomachs had Niall letting out a whimper and coming so hard his vision blacked out at the edges, his teeth sinking into Zayn’s shoulder so hard it’d definitely leave a bruise. Zayn continued to move until tensing up against him, groaning as he came, hands tight and leaving red marks on Niall’s pale hips and arse.

Niall collapsed against him, breathing hard, could hear Zayn breathing hard above his head.

“Holy shit,” Niall gasped and couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out, and laughed even harder when Zayn groaned, realising that his laughter had his muscles tightening around Zayn’s length. Zayn pulled out slowly and reached around to pull the condom off, making a face as he reached over to toss it in the waste-bin at the side of the couch.

“Right, up, sunshine,” Zayn said after a few moments of silently stroking his hands up and down Niall’s back, slapping a hand down on his arse sharply, making Niall yelp and sit up with a glare. Zayn grinned up at him and helped him stand on wobbly legs. That was when Niall began to feel a little awkward. Was he supposed to get dressed and leave now? To keep this casual? He had a few moments of emotional turmoil before giving in and just being honest.

“Do I . . . Am I supposed to leave now, or . . . ?” Niall trailed off awkwardly, raising an eyebrow at Zayn who’d just picked up his clothes from the floor. Zayn smiled at him as he reached to pick up Niall’s clothes too, but he didn’t hand them over to Niall.

“You could . . . or you could come upstairs and sleep in my bed,” Zayn said with a smirk and shrug and Niall huffed out a relieved laugh, smacking Zayn on the arm playfully. Zayn caught his hand and yanked him close, their clothes squashed between them, to give him a soft, lingering kiss that had the tension dripping from Niall’s shoulders in seconds.

Niall followed him upstairs without another word, gleefully ogling Zayn’s arse as he headed up the stairs in front of him. Zayn led him to his bedroom, chucking their clothes onto a computer chair before climbing into the bed. He yanked the covers back and smiled at Niall with laughter dancing in his eyes. Niall climbing in beside him, settling with a little distance between them, but that was gone quickly as Zayn grabbed his hip and pulled until he was plastered to his side and his head could rest on Zayn’s chest.

They were silent for a little while before either of them said anything, content to just feel each other and relax, letting sleep nip at their heels. 

“Don’t pull in front of me, okay?” Niall murmured, fingers drawing idle designs on Zayn’s stomach.

“I won’t,” Zayn replied softly, kissing the top of Niall’s head. They said nothing else, and gradually they both fell asleep. Niall had taken a few moment to watch Zayn’s peaceful, sleeping face, he’d never admit it though.

Liam was going to kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think, your comments mean the world to me xxx


	5. Steal A Kiss In The Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys :) So there is probably gonna be a bit of a wait until the next chapter due to massive amounts of uni work, but hopefully it won't be too long of a wait, so just be patient with me :)
> 
> Chapter title is from 'A Love Like War' by All Time Low ft Vic Fuentes.

The next morning was strangely okay, Zayn gave him a kiss goodbye and he left with a smile on his face. It wasn’t until later when Liam invited him out that he lost some of his happy buzz. Was he supposed to keep quiet about what had happened? Would Zayn mind if Niall wanted to keep them a secret? Niall wasn’t ashamed of what he’d done, but he also knew that he’d get a load of grief off of Liam if he found out, and at the end of the day Liam is his best friend and he doesn’t want to argue with him.  
  
Niall reluctantly agreed to come out that night, and was grateful when he saw Liam sat with Harry and Louis, and no sight of Zayn anywhere.  
  
“Hey,” Niall said with a grin as he sat down beside Liam who pulled him into a tight, one-armed hug.  
  
“Holy shit,” Harry said with a grin and Niall gave him a confused look. “That is a fucker of a love-bite,” Harry explained, eyes flickering to Niall’s collarbone. His t-shirt had slid to the side to reveal the deep purple mark that even had a few teeth marks. There was a slight possibility that he and Zayn had gone for round 2 when they’d woken up this morning. And there’s a slight chance that Zayn had taken advantage of Niall’s growing confidence to have sex on the kitchen table when he’d been attempting to make a cup of tea.  
  
“Uh . . .” Niall said awkwardly, cheeks feeling hot as he looked anywhere but at his three friends.  
  
“So what did you do last night?” Louis smirked, “Or should I say, who did you do?” Harry giggled at that and Niall banged his head down on the table with a resigned sigh. Maybe he should tell them? Zayn probably would anyway?  
  
But . . . Niall didn’t want to. He liked that it was only between him and Zayn, that it was private and easy.  
  
“Wait, you were with me at the park last night,” Harry said with a pouty frown and Louis’ eyes narrowed.  
  
“Harry . . .” Louis said in a warning tone and Harry’s eyes widened and he blushed as he realised the implication of what he’d just said.  
  
“It wasn’t me!” Harry said quickly, turning to face his boyfriend with wide, nervous eyes. Louis rolled his eyes in response and wrapped his arm around Harry’s shoulder, and the younger boy smirked a little and cuddled into the hold.  
  
“It wasn’t Harry,” Niall said with a small laugh. “I just . . . met someone near the dorms when I walked home,” Niall shrugged, stealing Harry’s pint and taking a sip.  
  
“And you just went home with them? A complete stranger?” Liam said suspiciously, eyes narrowed a little as he scanned Niall’s face.  
  
“Yep, a complete stranger,” Niall replied with a slight tremor in his voice as he caught sight of Zayn entering the bar. The other boy looked good, dressed in ripped grey jeans and a black t-shirt he’d cut the sleeves off of, big clunky biker boots adorning his feet. His fringe poked messily out of a dark red beanie and his finger were covered in tarnished silver rings. Niall swallowed as his abdomen clenched in want. He’d had sex with that. Three times. Damn.  
  
“Hey, man,” Louis said as Zayn came over, giving him a fist bump before Zayn walked around the table to slide in next to Niall.  
  
“Hey,” Zayn replied and he gave Niall a soft look that Niall returned, and under the table where no one could see, Zayn gave Niall’s knee a quick squeeze.  
  
“Niall fucked a stranger last night,” Harry suddenly piped up with a shit-eating grin and Niall felt Zayn shift slightly beside him.  
  
“Did he now . . .” Zayn trailed off suggestively and Niall blushed because he could hear the smirk in Zayn’s voice. “So, how was it, sunshine?” Zayn asked with a grin, throwing his arm around Niall’s shoulders and squeezing him a little.  
  
Niall opened his mouth the respond but Harry spoke first, “Damn good if that bruise has anything to say,” Harry laughed and Niall glared at him a little.  
  
“That right?” Zayn asked and Niall busied himself drinking more of Harry’s pint, eyes locked on the table.  
  
“I want to know who it was. Is he in any of our classes?” Louis asked and Niall mutely shook his head.  
  
Louis was distracted by Harry a moment later so he gave up questioning Niall fortunately. But not so fortunately, Liam decided he needed to have a word with him. Liam tapped his arm and when Niall met his gaze he lifted his chin in the direction of the bar, indicating that Niall should come with him. Liam got up and set off and Niall couldn’t help but glance at Zayn before he followed. The other boy was relaxed back against the seat, legs spread and a cocky smirk on his lips as his eyes raked over Niall’s body. When he finally met Niall’s eyes Niall stuck his tongue out childishly, which made the other boy bite his lip to stop a laugh, his smile still managing the crinkle the corners of his wide, brown eyes.  
  
Niall reluctantly looked away and went to stand beside Liam at the bar. Liam had ordered two pints and handed one to Niall when he stopped beside him. Niall smiled in weak gratitude before taking a fortifying sip.  
  
“So who was it really?” Liam asked and Niall coughed a little as he inhaled his beer.  
  
“Um, no one you know,” Niall shrugged, knowing he was failing to convince Liam but he’d never had a chance, he was a shit liar in general, never mind to his best friend.  
  
“Ni, seriously, I know when you’re bullshitting me,” Liam said with a frown.  
  
“Can we just forget about it, Li?” Niall asked desperately, finally meeting Liam’s eyes.  
  
“I don’t understand why you’re being all secretive. Is this guy married or something?” Liam asked seriously and Niall shook his head quickly. “Is he a teacher? Is he ‘straight’? What is it?” Liam kept asking question after question and Niall could feel himself start to get a little dizzy with how shallow he was breathing. He didn’t handle nerves very well.  
  
“Liam, come on, you don’t need to know,” Niall said desperately.  
  
“Well, maybe I do need to know, especially when it’s something you think you can’t tell me,” Liam pushed, not backing down on this, his worry for Niall too much for him to drop it.  
  
“Fine . . . Just don’t get mad at me, okay?” Niall sighed, his stomach cramped with nerves.  
  
“Depends on who it is first,” Liam answered with a raised brow and Niall sighed again.  
  
“I . . . _Fuck_ . . . Okay, I shagged Zayn, okay? Happy now?” Niall burst out nervously, fingers tight around his pint glass. Liam’s eyes widened almost comically and in any other situation Niall would have laughed. But not so much now.  
  
“You did _what_?!” Liam whisper-shouted, looking around and making sure he wasn’t making a scene.  
  
“It . . . It just happened!” Niall exclaimed weakly. “It’s not a big deal.”  
  
“Yeah, it is, Ni. He’ll fuck you over and then you’ll end up hurt. That’s a big deal to me,” Liam stressed and Niall scrubbed a hand through his hair in frustration.  
  
“Look, we talked about it, okay? We’re just friends, it’s nothing more we just . . . had a bit of fun, that’s all. And he promised not to pull in front of me, and he isn’t gonna just blow me off. We’re friends first and foremost,” Niall said firmly, trying to convince Liam- and maybe himself- that he’d thought this through. The sympathetic look Liam then gave him made Niall’s stomach twist uncomfortably.  
  
“Ni . . . Look behind you,” Liam said softly, face pinched in pity and a little sadness. Niall’s heart was beating too fast and there was a voice in his head screaming at him not to look, to just live in blissful ignorance, but he turned anyway, and he felt like he’d been punched in the stomach.  
  
Zayn stood at the other end of the bar, one girl on either side of him, smiling and chatting as they pawed at his arms and chest. Niall swallowed thickly. Okay. He got it.  
  
Niall turned back to Liam slowly, not able to meet Liam’s eyes.  
  
“It’s no big deal . . . It’s not like we’re in a relationship. He’s allowed to sleep with whoever he wants,” Niall said blandly, giving a weak shrug. Liam ducked his head to force Niall to meet his gaze.  
  
“Yeah . . . But not in front of you, Ni. Just because you agreed not to be exclusive doesn’t mean he can treat you like you’re nothing,” Liam said firmly. “I told you not to go there, Niall. He’s my friend but . . . He’s not a nice guy in that sense.”  
  
“He’s not treating me like that, Liam. He . . . Maybe he just forgot I asked him not to pull in front of me. It only happened last night, so he’s not exactly used to me cockblocking him yet,” Niall said in a tired voice, rubbing the back of his neck wearily.  
  
“Fuck sake, Ni . . . Do you wanna leave? We can go to mine and watch movies?” Liam asked, apparently deciding not to argue with Niall right now.  
  
“Yeah. I mean, not that I’m bothered or anything I just, yeah, a movie sounds good,” Niall said before necking his pint and leaving the now-empty glass on the bar. Liam did the same and they headed back to Harry and Louis.  
  
“Hey, we’re gonna take off. See you tomorrow night, yeah?” Liam said, taking his jacket off of the back of his chair and putting it on.  
  
“Aw, I thought we were hanging out tonight?” Harry pouted slightly and it managed to make Niall smile despite his indecision. Harry stood and came around the table, giving Liam a hug goodbye before moving to Niall. “You okay?” Harry whispered as he wrapped his arms around him, and Niall buried his face in Harry’s broad shoulder for a moment, basking in the comfort before he had to deal with the real world again.  
  
“I think so,” Niall said with a weak smile as Harry pulled back. Harry frowned before pecking himon the cheek.  
  
“Ring me tomorrow. We can have dinner together before your class, okay?” Harry said and Niall nodded before giving Louis a fist bump and following Liam out of the pub, refusing to look up and see if Zayn had noticed him leaving.  
  
***  
  
Three movies later and Niall was betting Zayn either hadn’t noticed he’d left or hadn’t cared that he had. He didn’t know which one he was hoping for. Liam was asleep on the opposite couch as the credits started rolling at the end of The Longest Yard.  
  
Niall got up with a sigh, switching off the telly and heading to the kitchen for a glass of water, he’d just filled the glass when his mobile vibrated in his pocket.  
  
He pulled it out and saw a text from Zayn.  
  
 _Zayn- I’m outside Li’s. Come out?_  
  
Niall sighed and ran a hand over his face. He checked to see if Liam was still asleep and felt relieved that his mate was still snoring away.  
  
He opened the front door as quietly as he could, pulling it almost closed behind him so the cold wouldn’t get in but he also wouldn’t lock himself out. Zayn was sat on the edge of the pavement outside Liam’s front gate, his legs spread out into the empty road, quietly puffing away on a cig. Niall sighed and rubbed his arms against the chill, he hadn’t put on a coat and his vest didn’t help much in England. He padded over of sock-covered feet and sat down next to Zayn.  
  
“Hey, sunshine,” Zayn murmured, blowing out a stream of smoke away from Niall’s face.  
  
“What do you want, Zayn?” Niall asked softly but bluntly, tired and cold and unwilling to argue right now.  
  
“To apologise,” Zayn said, flicking his cig away into the dark.  
  
“What for?” Niall asked just to be difficult.  
  
“I didn’t know you’d gone until maybe 20 minutes after you’d left, and at first I didn’t really think to question it when I found out. I just figured you’d got bored and left. But Harry mentioned you looked sad . . . I didn’t know what the boundaries were, I guess. Wasn’t sure if you’d want me coming after you and checking up on you. Harry’s suspicious, I think, because it took me forever to convince him to tell me where you were,” Zayn said and Niall frowned. Zayn was such an idiot to say he was so experienced.  
  
“Zayn . . . I don’t even know what . . . You’re just an idiot,” Niall finally burst out. “Why wouldn’t I want you coming to check on me when I’m sad? You’re my friend. I thought we agreed on that? But . . . I guess you didn’t mean any of that anyway,” Niall finished dully, feeling stupid that he’d thought he could manage someone like Zayn in the first place.  
  
“What the hell are you talking about?” Zayn asked in confusion.  
  
“You promised you wouldn’t pull in front of me. It’s not, I mean, I wasn’t jealous, I just . . . I thought you at least respected me enough too not do it. You made me feel like such an idiot,” Niall frowned, picking at a loose thread on the bottom of his blue skinny jean.  
  
“I didn’t pull,” Zayn said, his voice confused and his eyes narrowed as he looked at Niall and Niall imply rolled his eyes in response, which made something blaze in Zayn’s eyes. “I didn’t.” Zayn said firmly, muscle jumping in his jaw as he clenched his teeth.  
  
“Liam and I saw you with those two girls at the bar, Zayn . . . It’s why I left,” Niall practically whispered the last part. “Liam forced me to tell him about what happened between us and I gave him this whole speech about how you weren’t gonna treat me like shit, and you weren’t even gonna pull when I was around. And then there you are, with not one, but two, girls.” Niall said. He sighed and laid back on the cold tarmac, looking up at the dark, starless sky.  
  
“I didn’t pull, Niall. Look . . . One of those girl is from my art class, I went over to talk to her about the project and her mate started coming onto me. I wasn’t looking for it to go anywhere, Niall. I just thought it was harmless. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Zayn explained in a soft voice, leaning down on his side beside Niall, propping his head up on his hand and looking down at the blond-haired boy.  
  
“Flirting still counts,” Niall replied stubbornly and Zayn nodded.  
  
“Noted.” He said seriously before a smile twitched at his lips. “Sure you weren’t just a little jealous?” He purred, leaning down until his face was only a few inches from Niall’s. Niall blushed even though he tried his hardest not to and Zayn smirked knowingly.  
  
“Shut up,” Niall whispered and Zayn replied by leaning down to press their lips together firmly, kissing Niall as if he couldn’t get enough of him. Niall had to press his palms to Zayn chest and tear his lips away to gasp for breath, but Zayn didn’t relent, his lips and teeth grazing down Niall’s neck instead. “Z-Zayn? We can’t have sex on a road,” Niall gasped out.  
  
“Why not?” Zayn laughed against his skin and Niall went even redder.  
  
“I s-should go inside,” Niall stuttered out as Zayn sucked another bruised into the skin behind Niall’s ear. Zayn pulled back to pout theatrically down at him, and Niall bit his lip to stop his laugh, which made Zayn grin adoringly down at him. Zayn lift a hand to stroke the side of his face.  
  
“Your eyes are beautiful when you smile, sunshine,” Zayn murmured and Niall blushed once again, damn having pale skin.  
  
“Your eyes are beautiful all the time,” Niall murmured before he could stop himself, then slapped a hand over his mouth in mortification. Zayn laughed and kissed the end of his nose.  
  
“Come on. You’d better go back in before Li finds us and neuters me,” Zayn sighed, helping Niall stand as he got up himself. They were silent for a few moments, their foreheads pressed together, and Niall wondered if this was what Zayn was like with all his fuck-buddies, and if so then Niall had no idea why they didn’t all trail after him with heart eyes 24 hours a day. “I’m sorry for not coming sooner,” Zayn murmured, kissing Niall’s temple softly and tucking Niall’s head under his chin so he could cuddle him close.  
  
“Thank you for coming at all,” Niall shrugged. They stayed like that for a few more moments before Niall silently disentangled and made his way back inside. He peaked through the window and watched as Zayn wandered back off into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :) xxx


	6. Don’t Apologise, I Quite Enjoy Messy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've literally just disappeared for ages and I'm sorry, life was just getting in the way. Hoepfully I'll be able to update more often now though.  
> Hope you like it :)
> 
> WARNING: Drug use and it's a stronger substance than Weed. I also do not condone the use of drugs. So, like, don't try that shit. Or do. It's your life.

The things is, Niall hadn’t gotten properly smashed in a very long time, so when Harry suggested it with wide, glassy eyes, Niall agreed without a second thought. They stayed at the local pub instead of going to a club- Niall was still a little wary after his encounter with that creep- but that didn’t stop Harry from finding a couple of little white pills. 

“The fuck is that?” Niall asked with a drunken, sloppy smile as a giggling Harry held out his palm.

“Ecstasy. It’ll be fun, come on, Ni,” Harry grinned and slipped one of them onto his tongue, chasing it with a sip of his pint. Niall rolled his eyes and pinched the little pill between two fingers, looking at it in contemplation. Fuck it. He’d grown some balls and finally fucked Zayn Malik, he could handle one fucking little pill. Niall quickly swallowed the pull, grimacing at the dry feeling and gratefully taking a sip of beer when Harry handed him his pint. 

Niall hadn’t ever done anything more than weed if he was honest, and there was a little knot of anxiety in his stomach about the choice he’d just made, but he told himself that a lot of people did it so it couldn’t be that bad, could it?

40 minutes later and Niall felt like he was floating. He could feel the pulse of the music in his body, and everything felt so much brighter. He was also thirsty as fuck. Niall stumbled out of the booth he’d been laying in and went in search of Harry. The pub was packed, the venue a popular place for the university students like him and his friends, and he couldn’t find Harry anywhere. He felt a little blurry around the edges and way too warm, so he raised his hands and made as if to tug his t-shirt up and off of his body, but cool hands were suddenly clasping his and stopping his actions. Niall looked up with a frown and his blurry eyes focussed on big brown eyes that he would recognise anywhere. He grinned sloppily and slung his arms around Zayn’s neck, leaning forwards and putting a lot of his weight against Zayn’s chest. The other boy stumbled a little under his sudden weight and wrapped his arms around him. 

“Niall, just how drunk are you?” Zayn asked with a smirk.

“Onlllllly had lllllllike 5 pints,” He found he quite liked saying the letter L, it felt funny on his tongue. “Llllllllllllllll,” Niall slurred and one of Zayn’s eyebrows cocked at that, making Niall laugh and cuddle closer. “You’re so pretty.”

“Have . . . Have you taken something?” Zayn asked slowly, looking a little shocked at that, which offended Niall deeply. He was totally cool enough to take drugs. 

“Yup,” Niall replied, popping his lips on the P. Zayn searched his face for a moment before leading him to a booth and sitting him down. Niall sighed and flopped back with a grin, splaying himself along the bench seat. 

“I’m gonna go find Harry, okay? Since I’m assuming that’s who you’re with?” Zayn said carefully and Niall nodded. Zayn rolled his eyes and muttered something along the lines of ‘typical’ before disappearing into the crowd. Niall sat up and started to wiggle to the music. That was when a man he didn’t recognise came up to him with a grin. He was taller than Niall by maybe 3 inches, and had sandy blonde hair that was far more natural that Niall’s dye-job, his eyes a dark green that sparkled under the flashing lights coming from the dance-floor.

“Hey, I’m Scott,” The blonde guy grinned and Niall smiled back happily.

“’m Niall,” He said back, his voice slurred and his lips feeling numb. The guy had such a friendly smile. Niall wanted to be his best friend. 

“You wanna come dance? You look a little lonely,” Scott smiled, holding out a hand that Niall took eagerly.

“M’friends left me,” Niall pouted as he allowed himself to be pulled up.

“That’s a shame, I guess I’ll have to keep you company,” Scott smirked and winked making Niall giggle and put a hand on the other man’s hard chest. He was built and Niall couldn’t help but check him out. Scott kept a hold of his hand and walked backwards, his eyes never leaving Niall’s until they were in the centre of the crowd. He tugged until Niall was knocked off balance and spun until his back hit Scott’s broad chest. Niall moved in lazy undulations against Scott as the other man held onto his hips tightly. Niall could feel the music in his veins, could feel every flash of light like a caress to his overheated skin. He rubbed his hand from his hip up under his own shirt, stoking up his torso until his hand rested on his collarbone, his shirt bunched up to leave his torso mostly bare and glistening with sweat as he rocked his hips. Niall realised he’d closed his eyes and fought to raise his heavy lids. What he saw made his heart stutter in his chest. Zayn was steadily prowling through the crowd towards Niall, and people moved out of his way fearfully as they caught he look in his eyes, until he was suddenly grasping the back of Niall’s neck and yanking him forwards into a bruising kiss. Niall was vaguely aware of Scott’s hands leaving his hips but he was too busy clutching at Zayn’s shoulders to care.

Zayn pulled back, his teeth nipping Niall’s lower lip, and he paused there for a seemingly endless moment, the two of them sharing breaths, before suddenly pulling back, his arm shooting out so fast it was a blur to Niall’s fuzzy eyes. Niall caught it out of the corner of his eye, the way Zayn’s fist connected with Scott’s jaw with a thud, but curiously he didn’t feel all that bothered about it, not when he was so focussed on the feeling of Zayn’s strong shoulders under his palms. Zayn was shouting something at Scott but Niall ignored it in favour of leaning forwards to lick the tendon that was standing out on Zayn’s neck as he shouted. 

The next thing Niall knew he was outside, the cool breeze tickling his too-warm cheeks, and his forehead pressed to Zayn’s shoulder.

Niall felt tired now, and he let himself be pulled into a taxi and then out of the taxi and into Zayn’s house. Eye’s barely open as Zayn stripped him to his boxers and tucked him into the bed, before similarly stripping and joining him, Niall cuddled close into him with a sigh and Zayn wrapped his arms around the blonde boy without hesitation.

“Where’s ‘arry?” Niall slurred into the tattooed skin of Zayn’s chest.

“I called Louis to come get him,” Zayn murmured back quietly.

“Louis’ gon’ get mad if ‘e keeps ‘aving to pick ‘im up,” Niall mumbled sleepily.

“He loves him too much to argue,” Zayn whispered and it was the last thing Niall heard before he passed out.

***

Niall woke up with a severe case of dry mouth, his head thumping steadily as he groaned and buried his face in his pillow . . . not his pillow. He distinctly remembered putting his blue sheets on his bed last time he changed them, and he didn’t think he owned any black ones. Zayn had black sheets. How the hell had he gotten to Zayn’s?

Niall slowly sat up, realising he was alone in the room, but the bedroom door was open and he could hear someone moving about downstairs. He slowly shuffled from the bed, wobbling slightly on weak legs, deciding his boxers would do, and carefully making his way downstairs to find Zayn. 

The other boy was stood at the kitchen counter, one hand holding a cup of tea, the other holding his mobile as he slowly scrolled through something. 

“Hey,” Niall murmured roughly, feeling unsure and suddenly too naked. Zayn was dressed in a pair of ripped, grey, skinny jeans and a black vest, his feet bare.

“Morning,” Zayn replied, his face and voice unreadable as he placed his phone and tea on the counter, crossing his arms over his chest and searching Niall’s face in a way that felt like it stripped Niall to the bone. 

“So . . . What did I do last night?” Niall asked with a forcibly casual voice, moving until he could perch his bum on the kitchen table facing Zayn.

“Nothing notable,” Zayn shrugged and Niall felt too nervous to push the issue.

“Next time I don’t think I’m gonna listen to Haz,” Niall said with a painful smile.

“I didn’t think you were the type to take E,” Zayn said curiously.

“That was kind of the point,” Niall replied with a rueful smile. 

“Why?” Zayn asked, tilting his head to the side in an almost feline manner. It fit Zayn, Niall thought, with his big dark eyes and rolling gait he was almost cat-like. 

“I was tired of being too afraid to have fun. You were part of that,” Niall admitted, blushing slightly. Zayn pushed off of the counter, slowly prowling until he could stand between Niall’s knees, his hands a soft, warm weight on Niall’s bare thighs.

“Me?” Zayn murmured and Niall nodded jerkily, his stomach fluttering with nerves.

“I never would have gone near you before, but . . . I decided to take a risk,” Niall said shakily as Zayn leant so close that his nose brushed Niall’s.

“Risk . . .” Zayn repeated thoughtfully before suddenly closing the gap and kissing Niall so hard he almost tumbled back onto the table top. Niall raised his hands to thread them through the hair at the back of Zayn’s neck but his lips froze as he suddenly caught a flimsy memory from last night. Niall pulled back, frowning and searching Zayn’s eyes as the other boy looked back at him calmly.

“We kissed on the dance-floor . . . Did you hit someone?” Niall asked in confusion, only bit and pieces of his memory coming back. He remembered heat and the bass buzzing in his veins. And another guy. He’d danced with someone else. Niall guiltily searched Zayn’s face for any sign of anger. “I danced with some other guy,” Niall muttered, pulling his hands away from Zayn’s hair and wrapping his arms around himself. “Are you mad at me?” He murmured softly, looking up at Zayn through wide blue eyes, and he saw the crack, the sudden spark of emotion in Zayn’s eyes.

“We aren’t a couple, Niall,” Zayn murmured back and before Niall probably would have taken that for an answer, would have been embarrassed for assuming more but . . . No, Zayn had hit the guy Niall had been dancing with. 

“That’s . . . That’s not really an answer,” Niall said haltingly, raising one hand to timidly touch the pads of his fingers to Zayn’s collarbone, tracing the outline of one wing. 

“Didn’t like seeing you dancing with someone else,” Zayn admitted, his discomfort visible in his expression no matter how hard he attempted to hide it from Niall. 

“I’m sorry. S’not fair that I asked you not to pull in front of me but I went and danced with some other guy,” Niall said, leaning forwards into Zayn’s space until he had to tilt his head back to be able to see Zayn’s face, leaning up to peck the underside of his stubbled jaw once. Zayn shrugged, but it seemed to Niall that it wasn’t a lack of interest on his part, more that he was just uncomfortable after admitting he’d felt jealous. Niall leaned up until his lips brushed the edge of Zayn’s ear, and he took a deep breath, gathering his confidence. “I only want your hands on me, anyway,” Niall whispered and he felt the shudder that ran through Zayn in response and it melted something inside of him. “Forgive me?” Niall whispered, gently grazing his teeth over the edge of Zayn’s jaw.

Instead of answering Zayn simply moved until their lips met and he could kiss him with bruising force. He yanked on the backs of Niall’s knees until Niall wrapped his legs around Zayn’s hips. Zayn pulled until Niall was off the table and wrapped around Zayn instead, his hands steadying under Niall’s bum, holding him up and kissing him almost desperately.

Zayn carried Niall over to the couch, laying him down and positioning himself above him, his hips grinding down onto Niall’s in a maddening rhythm that had Niall swearing into his mouth.

“What do you want, sunshine? Come on, what do you want from me?” Zayn whispered breathlessly into Niall’s mouth, his hips never stopping in their relentless movements. Niall whimpered, hands clawing at Zayn’s back and definitely leaving a few marks.

“Please, Zayn,” Niall gasped back and Zayn kissed his deeply, his tongue silky and warm against Niall’s. 

“Please what, Niall? Tell me what you fucking want?” Zayn ordered, his voice a raspy growl that sent a shudder down Niall’s spine.

“Fuck me,” Niall blurted and immediately went bright red, mortified that he’d said that out loud. Real people didn’t just say shit like that, that crap was just stuff you heard in bad pornos. But Zayn grinned down at him, lips swollen and wet, eyes dark and penetrating.

“With pleasure,” Zayn smirked and kissed him again. Niall bit Zayn’s lip in retribution but when it caused Zayn to moan deep and long into his mouth Niall melted even more. Zayn tugged Niall’s boxers from his hips and made quick work of taking his own clothes off. When they were both naked and pressed together Niall almost passed out when he forgot to breathe. He slid his hands down Zayn’s back until he could squeeze the mounds of his small, pert arse, pulling him forwards so they rubbed together more firmly. Niall’s eyes almost rolled back in his head.

Zayn suddenly yanked back and out of Niall’s arms, reaching over the edge of the couch and into the little set of drawers there, coming back with a bottle of lube and condom that Niall raised an eyebrow at.

“Since when it that a normal place to keep supplies?” Niall asked and then blanched when he realised who he was talking to. Zayn slept with a lot of people, it was not secret, and in Niall’s bliss he’d managed to forget that he wasn’t the only one enjoying what Zayn had to offer. “Nevermind,” Niall muttered quickly, trying to hide his discomfort and failing if the look on Zayn’s face was anything to go by. 

Zayn placed the ‘supplies’ on the floor beside the couch and came to hover above Niall, one hand on the chair arm behind Niall’s head, the other cupping the side of his jaw, not letting Niall hide from his gaze.

“What is it?” Zayn murmured and Niall tried in vain to hide his vulnerability. 

“It’s nothing,” Niall muttered. 

“Niall,” Zayn said firmly and Niall sighed, lifting his hands to cover his face.

“Maybe we . . . Maybe we should spend more time apart or something,” Niall murmured and there was a few moments silence as Niall internally called himself every name under the sun, before Zayn gently but firmly pulled Niall’ hands away from his face.

“Niall, you need to tell me what the hell is going on in your head right now,” Zayn said softly, leaning forwards to press his forehead to Niall’s. Niall sighed happily at the affectionate gesture. 

“This . . . This situation we have is kinda messing with my head a bit. I don’t really know what the rules are,” Niall whispered timidly. Zayn was quiet for a few moments, his eyes thoughtful, his lips in a soft pout that Niall wanted to kiss but stopped himself, stayed still and patient whilst he internally freaked the fuck out.

“Ask what you want to ask, Niall,” Zayn finally said, his voice soft and open. “If there’s any rule that applies to us it’s that we need to be honest,” he continued and Niall felt flawed by it. So many people mistook Zayn’s blunt nature for callousness or a lack of emotion, but it was just a very clear moral code of being brutally honest with everyone. He might act like a dick to you but at least he told you the truth.

“I . . . Have you slept with anyone else since you started sleeping with me?” Niall rushed out, his words a jumbled mix that was barely understandable but it made Zayn smile.

“No. Have you?” Zayn grinned cheekily but Niall was still caught up on his reply.

“No? You haven’t? Why?” Niall asked in shock, not thinking to censor himself and blushing when he realised what he’d said. Zayn laughed, his chest moving against Niall’s.

“Haven’t felt the need. I was having fun with you,” Zayn smiled, shrugging casually. Fuck. Niall had no idea how he was supposed to act casual about this boy.

“You can’t say stuff like that,” Niall groaned, rubbing his hands over his eyes in frustration.

“Why not?” Zayn asked, genuinely seeming like he had no idea what he was doing to Niall, and Niall had a sudden thought.

“Have you ever, like, been in a long term relationship?” Niall asked softly and Zayn’s brows drew together at little in a small frown that tightened his pretty lips.

“What do you class as relationship?” Zayn muttered, his cheeks a little pink. Zayn Malik was embarrassed. 

“You haven’t, have you?” Niall replied in shock. Zayn groaned a little and rubbed the back of his neck, slowly backing away and sitting up, Niall followed until they sat across from one another.

“Uh, no, I haven’t,” Zayn responded, pulling a cushion to cover his nakedness and handing one to Niall so he could do the same. Yeah, having his dick out wasn’t exactly a helpful way to start a conversation like this. 

“Why?” Niall asked softly and when Zayn hesitated Niall sucked in a deep breath and reached out trembling fingers to hold Zayn’s hand. It took Zayn a few moment of shocked silence but he eventually squeezed Niall’s fingers so tight that Niall winced internally.

“Not exactly ‘boyfriend material’, am I?” Zayn murmured with a wry smile that caused a spike of pain through Niall’s chest.

“You’re . . . I don’t understand why not?” Niall said, deciding not to start babbling about how wonderful he thought Zayn was since that would probably scare him away. 

“Niall . . . come on, we both know I’m not the kind of guy people see a future with,” Zayn said and rolled his eyes.

“But only because they think you only want a fuck-and-chuck. Liam . . . Liam warned me from the start that all you’d want is sex and that, well, that you’d probably cheat on me anyway,” Niall said awkwardly and Zayn nodded thoughtfully.

“Probably comes across that way, huh? Wanna know something?” Zayn asked carefully and Niall nodded. “I have never cheated on a single person. The people I sleep with know beforehand that that is all I’m looking for and that we aren’t exclusive. They knew what they were getting into but they still get pissed when I actually sleep with another person, despite the fact I told them I would. That’s not cheating, that’s being honest and people just . . . not believing me, I guess,” Zayn said, shrugging slightly.

“They get pissed because even though they understand what you want, they can’t help but hope you’ll change your mind, that you’ll pick them,” Niall murmured breathlessly, knowing he was probably giving too much away. Niall didn’t really want to admit to himself that he’d already gone against what he’d started out to do. This wasn’t supposed to be anything more than sex, but maybe Niall just wasn’t built like that. 

“But why would they think that? I’ve told them honestly I don’t want a relationship with them. And as soon as there starts to be . . . that vibe from them, I break it off. I’m not cruel. I’m not going to lead someone on when they’re obviously starting to feel more than I am,” Zayn shrugged and Niall’s heart turned to stone in his chest. 

“Oh,” Niall said, hoping against all odds that that word didn’t contain any of the pain that was splintering through his chest and choking him. “When we started this, you never . . . you never said that kind of thing to me,” Niall forced himself to say. Zayn searched his face for a moment before reaching out so that both their hands were twined together.

“You know me . . . You knew what to expect, I guess,” Zayn replied, but . . . It didn’t feel like a real answer, it felt like he was trying to create and answer for something he hadn’t even known he’d done. “Plus, you made it clear that we were ‘just a fuck’,” Zayn quoted with a smile and Niall suddenly felt a little sick. 

“Yeah,” Niall murmured weakly.

“Anyway, my boner is definitely gone . . . do you wanna watch Jezza K?” Zayn grinned and Niall laughed despite the heavy feeling in his stomach.

“Why not? It’ll make me feel better about myself. I have all my teeth and no illegitimate children . . . that I know of,” Niall joked weakly. Zayn laughed, his beautiful eyes bright and crinkling at the corners.

“I think you’re amazing anyway, sunshine,” Zayn smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all the readers who have had huge patience with me in waiting for an update, you guys are great.  
> Please comment and let me know what you want to see in this fic because it's pure self-indulgence and the plot is just whatever the fuck it ends up being lol xxx


	7. Just Wanna See Me Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I blame this chapter on IWantToLearnToWrite because "maybe niall could be more like zayn *evil smile*", so, yeah.
> 
> Jealousy, cockblocking, grinding, angry sex, all the good stuff.
> 
> Chapter title is from 'Have faith in me' by A Day To Remember.

Niall hadn’t seen Zayn in 2 days, the other boy hadn’t tried to text or ring him either, and it was starting to dawn on Niall that he needed to stop being so damn submissive about this. He shouldn’t be waiting around for Zayn to remember he exits, he should be out dancing and snogging whoever he wants, remembering the fact that he’s fucking single. So that night after he’d finally gotten out of his Music Theory lecture he rang Liam with a feeling of determination tight in his chest.

\- Hey, Ni, what’s up?

“Hey, Li. Wanna go to the pub tonight?” Niall asked, closing his bedroom door behind him and dumping his heavy backpack on the floor.

\- Sure. Do you wanna invite the lads?

“Uh . . . Just, not Zayn, yeah?” Niall replied carefully. There was a small silence on the other end of the phone.

\- Have you two had a fight or somethin’?

Liam’s voice was worried and Niall rolled his eyes. 

“No, I just kinda wanna have fun and I can’t, um, do much if he’s around,” Niall cringed at how stilted that sounded but the whole situation was just awkward as it was without having to bloody verbalise it.

\- You mean you can’t get off with other people if he’s around?

There was very definitely a smirk on Liam’s face right now, it was blatant in his voice and Niall blushed horribly.

“Shut up, Liam. I’ll see you at the pub in like half an hour, yeah?” Niall asked and put the phone down with a quick ‘bye’ when Liam agreed, not wanting his friend to start pestering him for details of he and Zayn’s current situation. 

Niall pulled on a pair of black, skin tight jeans along with his white convers and a white t-shirt that he’d cut the sleeves off, leaving his hair falling choppy over his forehead.

He grabbed his wallet, phone and keys, shoving them into his back pockets and set off walking to the pub. When he walked through the doors the cold air had flushed his cheeks to a delicate pink and the end of his nose was a little numb, but he grinned when he saw Liam and Louis sat in their usual booth. He slid in beside Liam, reaching across the table to fist bump Louis. 

“Hey, whose round is it?” Niall asked with a wide grin and Liam snorted. 

“First thing you fuckin’ say, man. No ‘how are you’s or owt, you just care about fuckin’ pints,” Louis said with a roll of his eyes and Liam laughed brightly.

“And your point is?” Niall asked with a shrug just as Harry came bounding over with a grin.

“Niall!” Harry practically shouted, falling into the booth and wrapping his arms around Niall’s shoulders before slipping back out and going to sit beside Louis, leaving Niall feeling like he’d just survived a tornado.

“Okay then,” Niall murmured. “Now, I need a drink, anyone else?” Niall asked and the others shook their heads motioning at the almost full drinks they must have gotten just before Niall got there. Niall shrugged, scruffed a hand through Liam’s neatly styled hair and danced away when the other boy went to punch him for it, cackling as he headed off to the bar and waited for a bartender to notice him. 

“Fuck sake,” Niall muttered irritably after he’d been stood there for 10 minutes with no service. It was a busy night and the bartenders were all rushing about like headless chickens. 

“All I want is a pint, bloody uni students clogging up the bar,” Came a deep voice from beside him and Niall turned curiously. The man who’d spoken looked a little older than him, maybe 27 or so, and had dark hair and blue eyes, his jaw dusted with stubble. He was about Niall’s height and dressed like he’s just come from working out, jersey shorts and a vest top that showed off impressive arms that Niall internally drooled over a little before cocking his eyebrow.

“Well maybe you shouldn’t go to a bar that’s 5 minutes from campus?” Niall suggested cockily, grinning when the other man laughed at that.

“I’m Richard,” He held out a hand and Niall shook it calmly. He was stupidly attractive, but unlike with Zayn, Niall didn’t feel overly nervous around him. 

“Niall. One of the uni students you were complaining about,” Niall laughed lightly. 

“Fair enough. How about when we finally get some service I buy you a drink as an apology?” Ri chard offered with a smile and Niall pretended to think about it.

“Well, I suppose that’d be enough,” Niall said wryly, but his smile shone through a few moments later and Richard grinned back, moving a little closer to Niall. It felt good, having someone’s attention completely on him, but it also wasn’t exactly all that thrilling. It was fun to flirt but Richard didn’t spike that snap of nervousness and arousal in his stomach like Zayn did. But Zayn wasn’t around and Niall had to force himself to get over the small infatuation he’d developed for the tattooed boy. 

“What do you study at the uni?” Richard asked and Niall smiled again, he seemed sweet.

“Music Theory, I wanna work with music somehow, not sure how yet though,” Niall chuckled self-deprecatingly. 

“That’s cool,” Richard said and he actually seemed like he meant it.

“What do you do? Since I’m assuming you’re not one of the students you despise?” Niall smirked and Richard shook his head on a chuckle, lifting a hand to touch lightly at the small of Niall’s back, and when Niall didn’t protest he kept his hand there.

“I work at the gym down the road, I help people exercise and set up classes and stuff,” Richard shrugged.

“Uh, I’m not very active,” Niall said awkwardly, lifting an arm and flexing his inexistent muscles. Richard playfully squeezed his ‘muscle’ and made a mock impressed face that Niall had to laugh at. Niall was still laughing when someone came to stand so close to him that Niall turned in confusion.

“Hey, sunshine,” Zayn murmured and Niall swallowed thickly. Niall looked back and saw the confused edge to Richards smile and tried to smile at him reassuringly but it probably looked closer to a grimace than anything.

“Hi, um, I’m just talking to Richard,” Niall felt the need to say when things became a little too quiet, feeling uneasy under Zayn’s intense gaze that he alternated between Zayn and Richard. 

“I can see that,” Zayn said with a soft smile and a wicked gleam in his eyes, leaning a hand against the bar behind Niall so that the side of his arm brushed against Niall’s back teasingly. 

“Hey, uh, I’m gonna head off, I’ll have to buy you that pint some other time,” Richard said with a grin and confused eyes and Niall internally sighed. 

“Yeah, definitely,” He grinned back, hopefully showing that he was still interested. And Richard paused before heading off, flicking his gaze at Zayn before suddenly pulling his phone from his pocket and handing it to Niall.

“Maybe if you give me your number we could meet up? I’ll even pay for McDonalds,” Richard smiled crookedly and Niall laughed and typed his number into the phone before handing it back, resolutely ignoring Zayn’s presence until Richard had walked away with one last wave. 

Niall sighed and couldn’t make himself turn despite the fact he could feel Zayn’s eyes on the side of his face. 

“What, Zayn?” Niall asked finally, his voice so quiet it was almost lost in the chaos of the pub.

“I didn’t know you were coming out tonight,” Zayn murmured, his mouth almost brushing the back of Niall’s jaw with how close he’d moved.

“Last minute decision. But why do you care anyway?” Niall asked in a false casual voice. He was being a bit of a dick to Zayn but he felt entitled with the way Zayn had simply . . . vanished from his life. Did Niall really mean so little to him? Or had he just gotten bored of him? What happened to them being friends over everything else?

“You mad at me, sunshine?” Zayn purred, grazing his lips up Niall’s neck teasingly. Niall swallowed hard before forcing himself to move away. He turned and took a few steps back, trying to look confident when he met Zayn’s questioning gaze.

“Not at all, Zayn,” Niall sing-songed before casually walking away back to where his friends sat. He slid in beside Liam and collapsed against his friend’s shoulder for a moment before suddenly sitting up and narrowing his eyes at the other lads. “Who the fuck invited Zayn?” Niall demanded and all three lads looked at him wide eyed. 

“Wasn’t me, that’s for sure,” Liam said firmly and Niall nodded in agreement. 

“I lost my phone at a party last night,” Harry shrugged and yeah, that’s believable. Niall turned to look at Louis who gave him a defensive tilt of his chin.

“I ‘ant done jack-nowt,” Louis protested and Harry frowned at him. 

“You’re lying. Why are you lying?” Harry asked with stormy eyes and an angry pout to his full, pink lips. Louis deflated and looked at him in exasperation before turning to Niall with a sigh.

“Okay, so I texted him,” Louis admitted with a cringe when Harry pinched his shoulder.

“Why the hell did you text him? We specifically said that we weren’t inviting him,” Liam frowned, more confused than anything.

“Louis, he’s already shoved himself into what I was doing, that’s the whole reason I didn’t want him here!” Niall said, smacking his hand down on the table for emphasis.

“Well don’t you think you need to think about the fact you couldn’t go on the pull unless you avoided him?” Louis said with a raised eyebrow and Niall blushed slightly.

“No. He did that before we were even-” Niall cut himself off. He knew for a fact he hadn’t told Louis he was sleeping with Zayn and it was damn obvious that Louis knew. He thought Harry had probably suspected it but he hadn’t confronted Niall for an answer. That left Liam but Liam wouldn’t tell Louis something like that. “Who told you?” Niall asked softly, trying hard to keep a lid on his chaotic emotions. Louis cringed again.

“No one did, I guessed,” Louis lied and Harry turned to him once again with a disapproving frown which confirmed it to Niall.

“When did he tell you?” Niall asked, voice a little breathless. He didn’t really know what he felt about this. Zayn had spoken to Louis about him. About what they’d done. Niall suddenly blushed so hard he felt dizzy. He had overheard Louis and Zayn before, talking about what Zayn had done with who and where and how and every other dirty detail Louis could pry out of him. “W-what did he tell you?” Niall stuttered on trembling lips. 

“It wasn’t like that, Niall,” Louis murmured, finally meeting Niall’s eyes. He leaned over and carefully took hold of Niall’s hand. “We didn’t talk like that, Niall. He just mentioned it, that’s all. He was explaining why he was being such a crazy piece of shit when he was prying your location out of Harry the other day.”

“What did he say to you?” Niall asked, feeling slightly calmer now that he knew Louis didn’t have the intimate details of how he rode Zayn’s dick.

“That you were trying out the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing,” Louis shrugged. Niall blushed once more. It made him uncomfortable that so many people were now aware he’d sucked-off Zayn Malik.

“I need a drink,” Niall sighed and stood up, waving off Liam’s offer to join him. He didn’t feel up to company right now.

Niall glanced around but he didn’t see Zayn anywhere. He got surprisingly quick service at the bar and ordered two vodka shots and another pint. He was probably going to regret mixing his alcohol but for right now he really didn’t give a shit. He downed both shots in quick succession, wincing at the burn and taking a sip of his pint in an attempt to cool it.

Niall gulped half his pint before squirming his way into the centre of the dance floor. Within seconds he was dancing with two girls, one in front, and one behind him. Niall was very definitely gay but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to dance with pretty girls. The girl in front craned her head back so that if he wanted he could kiss her cherry red lips and he felt a little bad so he leant down to her ear.

“Wrong team, love, sorry,” Niall said and the girl chuckled and shrugged, continued dancing with him anyway. It was fun but now that it was on his mind Niall really wanted a snog. He excused himself from the two girls and did a quick scan of the dance floor. There was a guy that looked pretty enough and he headed over with a smile.

“Hi,” the guy said, and he reminded Niall of his friend Josh from back in Ireland, had similar features, but he was a bit taller and seemed a little older too. 

“Hi, wanna dance?” Niall asked with a small smirk, looking up at the guy with wide eyes.

“Sure,” the guy grinned and followed Niall further into the crowd. Niall wrapped his arms around the guy’s neck and the taller man put his hands on Niall’s hips, tugging him in until their hips were flush and grinding to the beat of a song that Niall didn’t know but vaguely recognised the lyrics; . . . So we fuck ‘til we come to conclusions, all the things that we thought we were losing, I’m a ghost and you know this, that’s why we broke up in the first place, cause I wanted you to know that I am ready to go, heartbeat, my heartbeat . . .   
It had a beat that Niall moved his hips to, grinding hard with this tall man who he didn’t even know, and the words made him think of Zayn in a way; . . . Are we datin’, are we fuckin’, are we best friends, are we somethin’, in between that, I wished we never fucked and I mean that . . . But not really . . .

That was when Niall looked over this nameless guy’s shoulder and saw Zayn. Zayn smirked because he knew what he’d done. Niall pulled out of the guy’s arms and moved away with an apologetic smile, moving away from him and from Zayn and further into the crowd, determined to find someone else, someone Zayn hadn’t managed to ruin with only his presence. 

It became a kind of game, Niall would grind on as many people as possible and Zayn would find some way to ruin it, either by giving him this look that basically purred “Really? Them? Do you actually think they could fuck you better than me?”, or by far blunted means of pulling Niall from someone else’s arms and kissing him so hard he felt like he’d never be able to breathe again. But every time he actually did that, he’d melt away again, never actually offering Niall more than a kiss. Niall felt like a very disoriented mouse being batted between Zayn’s paws and waiting to be eaten. 

By the end of the night Niall was horny and exhausted and completely fucking fed up. He stumbled over and curled up against Liam’s side, nuzzling in when his best friend wrapped a warm arm around him. 

“Ready to go home?” Liam asked softly and Niall nodded against his shoulder.

They called Louis, Liam, and Harry a taxi since they lived further away and Niall assured them he was sober enough to walk instead of paying another couple quid for the taxi to stop at his student-accom when he lived literally a few minutes’ walk away. Liam made him promise to text when he got home so that he knew that he was safe and Niall waved them off as their taxi drove away. 

When he heard a noise on the path behind him he sighed.

“Where you heading?” Zayn murmured, and Niall turned to find the other boy leaning lazily against the way, cigarette lit between his fingers. He raised it to his lips, taking a long pull before blowing the smoke off into the night sky. It shouldn’t be hot, it’s a disgusting habit that Niall hates, but on Zayn it just added to the whole image he portrayed.

“Not sure,” Niall murmured, crossing his bare arms and shivering a little. Zayn pushed off the wall, placing his cig between his lips so his hands were free, and shrugged off his leather jacket, moving forwards and helping Niall into it before removing his cig from his mouth once again. “Thanks,” Niall whispered, loving the way the warm material smelled like Zayn’s aftershave and cigarette smoke, a surprisingly nice combination. 

They were silent for a few moments, Niall huddling in the jacket for warmth, Zayn searching Niall’s face for something that Niall couldn’t guess. 

“Come back to mine,” Zayn murmured, voice clear and strong, more of an order than a question. 

“Don’t know if I want to,” Niall shrugged, glaring a little as he crossed his arms. Zayn flicked his fag off into the night and Niall could see the cherry still glowing a few feet away, before moving closer t Niall until Niall had to tilt his head a little to meet his eyes. Zayn’s hand came up to fist in the hair at the nape of Niall’s neck, clenching tightly and making Niall’s lips part on a soft moan that he couldn’t contain.

“Come back to mine,” Zayn said again, his lips against Niall’s and Niall nodded as much as he could with Zayn’s fingers tight in his hair. 

It was only a short taxi ride to Zayn’s but Niall was almost squirming in the back seat, and it didn’t help that randomly Zayn would lean over nibble and lick at the tendons in his neck, making Niall melt every damn time, only to pull back and tear desperate whimpers from Niall’s throat. 

The worst of it all was that Niall was still massively pissed off. He’d purposefully attempted to piss Zayn off tonight, but it still seemed as if Zayn didn’t really care, only to the extent that he wanted to prove to Niall that no one would ever be better than Zayn. It pissed him off and honestly he was a little hurt. He’d wanted Zayn to be jealous, to care, but instead he felt like Zayn had seen it all simply as a game it’d be fun to win.

When they closed Zayn’s door behind them Niall once again found himself stood in the centre of Zayn’s living room. He crossed his arms and tried to look firm.

“You’re infuriating. I don’t know why I even fucking tried. I should have known you wouldn’t give a shit,” Niall snapped, blaming his loose tongue on the amount he’d had to drink. Zayn stood opposite him and Niall could almost see the way the anger in his eyes sparked and became hotter. 

“I’m infuriating? I’M infuriating? Are you fucking kidding me? You threw yourself at anyone who would have you! You pressed yourself against guy after guy all whilst you knew I was watching! The fuck do you think you’re doing?” Zayn practically yelled.

“Having fun! Doing whatever the fuck I please because I’m single and you don’t fucking want me!” Niall shouted before snapping his mouth shut and looking at Zayn with wide eyes.

“How the fuck could you think I don’t want you, you fucking fool! I followed you around like a lost fucking puppy tonight!” Zayn snapped, eyes dark with anger, mouth twisted and harsh.

“Oh, fuck off, Zayn. You went along and cock blocked me because you thought it was funny and you had something to prove. Don’t act like you weren’t the one in control all fucking night!” Niall spat back, chest heaving. 

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” Zayn practically screamed, flinging his arms wide before advancing on Niall and Niall had a moment of ‘oh shit he’s gonna punch me’ before Zayn’s lips were suddenly against his. It took all of two seconds for Niall to melt against his chest with a moan. 

But this kiss wasn’t as playful as the ones they’d shared before, it was hot and angry and his lips felt raw from the sharp nip of Zayn’s teeth.

Suddenly Niall felt desperate to bite and scratch, to feel Zayn’s bare skin and to mark it and show everyone where he’d been. He shrugged off Zayn’s jacket before ripping his own t-shirt over his head, their kiss only breaking for a second. Then he reached to yank up Zayn’s t-shirt so hard he heard a ripping noise but neither of them paid any attention to it. They were squeezing hard at each other’s bodies and Niall moved to rake his nails down Zayn’s back harder than he ever had before, Zayn moan long and filthy into his mouth, hips bucking hard into Niall’s. Zayn moved fast as soon as he recovered, pushing and shoving until he had Niall pinned to a wall.

Zayn used both hands to pop open Niall’s jeans before roughly shoving them down to just above his knees along with his boxers, letting Niall’s length bob free and into his waiting hand. Niall’s knees trembled and he whimpered as Zayn pumped his length hard. He could barely focus on the way Zayn was very obviously leaning over to get the lube and condoms from the little drawers, but he definitely noticed it when the lube-slick fingers of Zayn’s over hand suddenly came around to brush between his cheeks, rubbing insistently over his entrance. Niall clutched at Zayn’s shoulders as Zayn used both hands to tear down every defence Niall had against him. Niall sunk his teeth into Zayn’s neck when the tattooed boy pushed in the first finger, biting so hard there’d be a painful bruise tomorrow. Niall’s body was at war with itself, bucking forwards into Zayn’s hand around his dick and back onto Zayn’s fingers. 

When he was up to 3 Niall nearly begged him to let him cum, but his bit his bottom lip to stop the words, trying to remember his anger.

Zayn removed both hands from Niall, leaving him panting and trembling against the wall, to shove his own jeans and boxers to mid-thigh, quickly rolling on the condom and slicking up his length generously, before reaching out to pull Niall into a punishing kiss that bruised his already tender lips. Niall kissed back as hard as he could before Zayn suddenly tore he mouth away and used strong hands to roughly turn Niall around and pushing him into the wall, his chest pressed hard to the cool stone. 

Niall braced his hands on the wall on either side of his shoulders as Zayn gripped Niall’s hip with one hand and his own length with the other, lining up before suddenly pushing in hard and fast. Niall’s legs trembled that hard that he almost collapsed and Zayn had to grip him tight to help him balance himself again. After that moment of support Zayn was relentless, squeezing his hands bruisingly tight on Niall’s hips and using the hold to slam into him over and over, the harsh sound of their sweat damp skin slapping together a bluntly sexual soundtrack to match the helpless moans falling from Niall’s lips.

Niall came embarrassingly fast, his release hitting the wall in front of him as he sobbed and whimpered and felt like his body was exploding, bowing his back so badly he felt like he’d pulled a muscle. The only reassurance was that Zayn came a few moments later, pressing his hips tight to Niall’s arse as he groaned and bit hard at Niall’s pale shoulder.

Niall panted with his cheek against the wall and Zayn gasped against the now-bruised skin of Niall’s shoulder. They were still connected in the most intimate way, their jeans caught at their thighs, when Zayn roughly murmured “Don’t dance with other guys,” against his skin, and Niall couldn’t help the breathless whine that left his lips. He felt wrecked and laid bare, his chest cracked open and vulnerable to the man who had just ruined him. But at least it felt like Zayn was just as broken as him.


	8. We Never Crossed The Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THIS  
> So there is a shift in POV for this chapter. The start is Niall as always, but the second half is Zayn's POV, due to a request from an anon on tumblr who wanted to know more about Zayn. I felt bad for not updating for ages so it's a little longer than usual too.  
> I also got asked where the actual fic title 'Darling, Watch Me Gasp' is from, it's from a poem I wrote for my creative writing course at university that went in my final proposal.  
> Anyway, here you go, I hope you enjoy it :)
> 
> Chapter title is from 'It Was Always You' by Maroon 5.

Niall had been sat with Harry and Liam at the pub for about an hour when Louis finally limped in. Harry was straight onto his feet, running over to his boyfriend with wide, panicked eyes.

“Are you okay? What happened? Do you need to go to the hospital?” Harry rushed out, hands brushing over the entirety of Louis’ body; looking for wounds, Niall supposed. 

“Haz! Harry! Calm down! I’m fine, babe,” Louis said loudly over Harry’s continuous babble. Louis grabbed both of Harry’s hands and made the taller boy meet his eyes for a moment, the action seemed to drain the tension from Harry until he sagged with a shaky exhale, pressing his forehead to Louis’ for reassurance, which Louis gave with a wide grin.

“Why are you limping?” Niall asked around a mouthful of peanuts, Liam frowning at him in reproach for speaking with his mouth full, to which Niall responded by sticking out his mushed-peanuts covered tongue. 

“Zayn got a tattoo gun from his mate who owns a shop, thought we’d test it out,” Louis said with a shrug and Harry’s mouth dropped open.

“You got ANOTHER tattoo?!” Harry shrieked and Niall winced in sympathy for Louis who now looked a little sheepish.

“You got a fucking butterfly,” Louis muttered barely loud enough for them to hear and Harry’s face darkened considerably.

“You said you thought it was pretty!” Harry accused and Louis blushed.

“I said quirky!” He snapped back. Liam sighed beside Niall, rolling his eyes, pretty used to Harry and Louis’ spats by now.

“You said it was pretty! What the hell have you gotten now?” Harry demanded, hands on his hips, shoulders squared, with eyes like thunder. It was strange for Niall to realise that like that Harry was actually pretty intimidating, a thought that was hard to reconcile with the Harry he saw on a regular basis, but he supposed it made sense. Harry was friends with a lot of scary people that Niall would probably piss himself were he to meet them in a dark alley. Harry would have been eaten alive by now if he didn’t know how to take care of himself, and that was a pretty sobering thought for Niall.

“Just a doodle! Fuck sake!” Louis spat out, exasperated, eyes narrowed. And uh oh, wrong response, Niall noted, watching as Harry’s eyes narrowed on Louis. Louis who now seemed to have realised how far he’d pushed his normally soft-spoken boyfriend. “It’s just a spider web, Haz, that’s all,” Louis sighed, reaching down to roll up his skinny jeans and show off the sling-film wrapped ink.

Harry appraised the tattoo with his arms crossed over his chest and a speculative look on his face.

“The next time you get a tattoo without talking to me first your punishment is getting my name tattooed on your arse,” Harry said spitefully, but there was mirth glittering in his eyes now and Louis could see it because he moved forwards to tug Harry into his arms until the taller boy wrapped his arms around Louis’ neck.

“I think your name would look very pretty on my fabulous arse,” Louis smirked and Harry’s laugh barked out without warning and he lent down to nuzzle into the side of Louis’ neck, the blue eyed boy pressing a laughing kiss to Harry’s temple.

“It’s like watching some weird species on animal planet,” Liam muttered to Niall and Niall took a sip of his pint to hide his smile. The sudden clasp of a hand on the back of his neck made Niall nearly spill his pint over his own lap and he turned with a frown to see Zayn grinning down at him, and his frown lost its muster. Zayn stood beside Niall’s chair, hip lent on the back on the booth, and kept his proprietary grip on the back of Niall’s neck as he greeted the lads, meaning Niall had to try in vain to hide his blush.

“Zayn has some new ink too,” Louis suddenly offered and Niall looked up at Zayn with definite interest . . . He maybe has a slight obsession with the way tattoos looked on Zayn’s skin.

Niall’s curiosity was made stronger when Louis’ words wiped the smile from Zayn’s face, leaving him with an expression so guarded that Niall felt uncomfortable.

“What did you get?” Liam asked curiously and Niall saw the way Zayn’s jaw worked, like he was grinding his teeth, and his hand had tightened slightly on the back of Niall’s neck. Niall slyly moved a hand back until it touched Zayn’s knee, holding on to show his support.

“Leave it, man. He has like a thousand tattoos, why does it matter that he has one more?” Niall laughed cheerily, faking a huge grin, and he felt the tension leak out of Zayn’s body. The lads started to chat amongst themselves, Louis and Liam arguing about the merits of one football team versus another, and Niall felt the sweet touch of a gentle kiss on the top of his head. Stopping his smile was one of the hardest things he’s ever done.

***

Niall had walked all the way to his lecture to find out his lecturer was sick, so instead of walking home he’d decided that he’d surprise Zayn since he didn’t have another class until later and neither did the other boy. It took around 15minutes until Niall was knocking on Zayn’s front door and Niall actually had a moment of thinking he’d gotten the wrong house when a random guy opened the door and jumped when he came face to face with Niall.

“Sorry, man, I didn’t hear you knock. I was just leaving. Bye, Zayn!” The guy called back through the door and walked past Niall, heading down the road. Niall stood there in shock for a moment, forcing himself not to jump to conclusions, to take a deep breath and stay calm. 

When he felt relatively stable again he quietly walked in through the door the guy had left open in his wake, shutting it behind him, and heading to the kitchen where he could hear Zayn humming as he made himself a cup of tea.

Zayn was stood at the counter in a pair of grey sweatpants and a black vest that clung to his skinny frame, his feet bare and his hair in messy spikes like he hadn’t brushed it after his shower this morning. 

“Hi,” Niall said awkwardly and Zayn jumped and turned quickly with a frown, obviously not expecting someone in his house, but smiled and relaxed when he saw Niall.

“Hey, sunshine, you scared the shit outta me,” Zayn chuckled, motioning for Niall to come closer, which the blond boy did reluctantly, still unsure of what he’d just walked into. When Niall was close enough Zayn tugged him close and pressed a kiss to his cheek with a soft smile. “I thought you had a lecture?” Zayn asked in confusion, picking up his tea and taking a sip before offering it to Niall. Niall gratefully took the mug and took a shaky sip of the warm liquid, hoping it would settle his stomach. 

“Got cancelled,” Niall said carefully, unable to fully meet Zayn’s eyes. 

Niall couldn’t stop picturing it. He couldn’t stop picturing Zayn fucking the guy who’d left his house. The guy had been tall and attractive, more so than Niall was in his opinion. He’d had light brown hair and dark blue eyes that were bright enough to match a sparklingly white smile. The point was that Niall wasn’t even allowed to be mad, it’d been him to set the rules in the beginning, he was the one to call them ‘just a fuck’, and how could he have ever thought Zayn would be ‘just a fuck’? Maybe to Zayn, but Niall had never been built that way and he was pretty stupid for thinking he’d be fine. Niall didn’t really know what he wanted from Zayn, all he knows is that the thought of him with that guy made him want to throw up.

So he didn’t think about it. He didn’t think about it as he placed Zayn’s tea on the counter. He didn’t think about it as he turned and wrapped his arms around Zayn’s neck. He didn’t think about it as he pressed his lips to Zayn’s. 

But he definitely thought about it when Zayn gently pushed him away. Niall couldn’t do it, couldn’t think about what any of this meant, so kept his eyes closed.

“Niall? What’s wrong? You’ve been off since you came in,” Zayn practically whispered. Niall kept his eyes stubbornly closed and closed his teeth over his bottom lip, too unstable to speak without fucking everything up, so he just shook his head. “Niall . . . Niall, open your eyes. Niall,” Zayn’s voice got more and more frustrated until Niall finally peeked up at him, his nose scrunched up, bottom lip pouting slightly. “Niall, seriously, you’re being stranger than usual.”

“I’m okay,” Niall lied with a shaky shrug. “I just missed you,” Niall said breathlessly, more out of nerves than lust, and sidled closer to Zayn to press timid kisses to the side of his neck, hoping to distract the other boy from his line of questioning. But Zayn just carefully pulled him back by his shoulders until Niall was forced to meet his eyes. Zayn was frowning at him, his dark eyes thoughtful, and Niall internally panicked. “It’s nothing. Really. Drop it, Zayn.”

“You’re lying and you aren’t a good liar. Niall, just tell me what the hell is going on,” Zayn said forcefully.

“Would . . . Would you tell me if you had started sleeping with someone else?” Niall asked haltingly and Zayn searched his face silently.

“Are you sleeping with someone else?” Zayn asked hesitantly, like he didn’t really want to hear the answer, and Niall frowned.

“What are you talking about? I just asked you that,” Niall replied in confusion.

“Why do you think I’m sleeping with someone else?” Zayn asked, his brows drawn together over dark eyes, his mouth tight with displeasure.

“I-I was just asking,” Niall shrugged and Zayn dropped his hands so they were no longer touching. 

“You’re lying again, Niall. I seriously can’t be fucked with this conversation if you aren’t even going to be honest,” Zayn spat as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Fine! Some guy just left your house and I just casually wanted to know if you were fucking him,” Niall blurted, his face going bright red.

“I . . .” Zayn trailed off, lips parted, eyes wide. Niall panicked.

“If you are, I mean, its fine. I just . . . I was just curious that’s all,” Niall felt like he was going to pass out, his lungs screaming for air, but no matter how much he sucked in it never seemed to be enough.

“Niall, calm the fuck down!” Zayn said, putting his hands on either side of Niall’s face and taking a few deep breaths with him. Niall’s heart started to gradually go back to beating a normal rhythm, but he still felt terrible, like he could fuck everything up.

“I know . . . I know we’re just a fuck, okay, but . . . Can you just maybe tell me if you’re sleeping with someone else?” Niall asked in a small voice, looking up at Zayn from under his lashes.

“Niall,” Zayn sighed, leaning close to rest his forehead against Niall’s. “I’m not sleeping with Ryan, okay? We have to do a presentation in class together. And I’m pretty sure he’s straight,” Zayn tagged on with a smile and Niall groaned in embarrassment. 

“I’m sorry,” Niall murmured, wishing he could just melt into a puddle and escape this mess.

“It’s okay . . . I’d want to know too,” the last part seemed forced from Zayn’s lips, like he was embarrassed but wanted to be honest anyway, and Niall couldn’t help but surrender to the grin that pulled at his lips. Zayn’s eyes searched Niall’s face for a moment before he smiled too. “You light up when you smile, sunshine.” The irony of that statement and his nickname wasn’t lost on Niall, and he snorted unattractively, which made Zayn kiss the end of his nose with a chuckle.

“Shut up, you’re just trying to flatter me into bed,” Niall said haughtily.

“Is it working?” Zayn grinned, his hands skimming up Niall’s t-shirt to land on his bare hips, squeezing gently.

“No,” Niall replied mulishly. Zayn laughed and moved closer until his lips nearly brushed Niall’s and his big brown eyes were all Niall could see.

“How about now?” Zayn whispered, lips still pulled into a slight smile.

“Nope,” Niall said shakily, lips popping on the ‘p’. Zayn moved his head until his lips brushed the bottom of Niall’s ear, his breath raising goose-bumps on Niall’s neck, sending a tingling shiver down his spine.

“You’re still a shit liar,” Zayn whispered directly into his ear as his hands moved to cup Niall’s arse and yank him forwards so their hips ground together, creating some incredible friction over Niall’s semi. Niall moaned softly, pressed his mouth to Zayn’s shoulder in an attempt to muffle the embarrassing sounds coming from him. “Upstairs,” Zayn murmured and Niall nodded shakily and let Zayn drag him upstairs by his hand. 

As soon as Niall stumbled to a stop beside the bed Zayn was pulling off his clothes. Once Niall was naked they stood there for a moment, paused, Zayn still fully dressed, Niall bare and pale; a stark contrast to one another. 

When Zayn dropped to his knees and started to mouth at Niall’s hip the blond boy sucked in a desperate gasp and clutched Zayn’s shoulders hard. Zayn moved until his breath ghosted over Niall’s erection and Niall bit his lip so hard he tasted the slight tang of blood.

“Please,” Niall gasped, the word tearing itself from him without his permission. In response Zayn grazed his lips over the head of Niall’s dick. “Zayn, I swear to g-ahhhhhhh!” Niall ended with a groan as Zayn finally wrapped his lips around the end of his dick, sucking hard until Niall’s head dropped back helplessly, exposing the long, pale column of his throat. 

Zayn’s mouth was hot and slick and Niall honestly couldn’t breathe, it felt like someone had punched him in the stomach and winded him. When Zayn took him deeper, swallowing around him, until his nose was almost touching Niall’s happy trail, Niall honestly thought he was going to pass out. 

Zayn slowly pulled off, sucking hard the entire time so that Niall’s back bowed and he moaned, bucking his hips forwards. Zayn bit at the skin of his hip until an angry red mark stood vibrant against Niall’s milky skin, making the blond boy hiss between his teeth, the mark promising to bruise spectacularly. Zayn kissed his way up Niall’s body until he could take his lips once again, licking into his mouth and stealing any air Niall had managed to suck in. 

Niall moved his hands to yank up Zayn’s vest and Zayn lifted his arms helpfully. Niall immediately pressed his lips to the ones tattooed at the centre of Zayn’s chest.

Niall kissed his way down but was stopped by Zayn’s hands suddenly and tugged up until he stood to his full height, looking at Zayn questioningly.

“I . . .” Zayn started, looking nervous. Zayn glanced around, avoiding Niall’s eyes, before taking a deep breath and grabbing Niall’s hand, leading it until his fingertips touched the soft skin of Zayn’s ribs. “Just . . . It’s not a thing, okay? Don’t make it a thing,” Zayn said softly and Niall just felt confused . . . until he looked down to where Zayn had placed his fingers.

Over Zayn’s ribs sat his new tattoo, a delicate, intricate, perfect little sun completely filled in black. And Niall knew. Niall knew what the tattoo was, knew why Zayn had been so nervous about the other lads seeing it, knew that Zayn was scared right now.

So Niall swallowed the lump in his throat, ignored the butterflies in his stomach, and kissed Zayn with everything he was feeling right then.

Niall understood why Zayn had asked him not to make it a big deal, but he had to ask, to make sure.

“Sunshine?” Niall gasped into Zayn’s mouth.

“Yes,” Zayn grated before kissing him so hard that Niall thought his lips might be permanently bruised from it.

If Niall’s finger’s trembled harder than usual as he unbuckled Zayn’s belt then neither of them mentioned it.

***

ZAYN’S POV

Zayn had had the day from hell; his art teacher had dropped one of Zayn’s painting and fucked it up, he’d run out of fags, and Niall hadn’t texted him at all. 

He hadn’t seen Niall for two days, not since he’d left Zayn’s house after seeing his new tattoo, and they’d texted only a few times in between. Honestly Zayn missed him, and it was a strange, unusual feeling for him, the guy who moved between people like they were interchangeable. 

So when he got a text from Louis saying they were already at the club and he could come join if he wanted, he didn’t think twice before heading straight home to get a quick shower and change his clothes. Ink had stained his hands in class today and it wouldn’t come off no matter how hard he scrubbed.

Dressed in his usual outfit of black leather and black skinnies, Zayn made the 10 minute walk to the club, sucking on a cig he’d found on his bedside table as if it were his lifeline. 

When Zayn saw Niall on the dance floor dressed in grey skinny jeans and a white tank top that gaped low at his sides to show more pale, soft skin than it covered, could he really be blamed for the fact that his first thought was a desire to fuck him up? It’s all Zayn had wanted to do since the first time he’d seen Niall back at the start of uni when Liam had invited along his new Irish mate to their night out. But Zayn hadn’t gone near him back then, having been warned off by Liam.

The second Zayn had caught sight of Niall, Liam had rushed over and whispered that Zayn needed to stay away from the blond boy, that Liam wanted to stay friends with Niall, not lose him when he was upset after being fucked and chucked by Zayn. Zayn had kept his distance to keep Liam happy because he’d known the other lad since he was 5, but he’d also kept his distance because Niall was probably one of the most beautiful people Zayn had ever seen. Not in a typical, model way, but in the way that when he smiled he had this glow to him, this wide smile that just brought everyone around him closer. Making Niall laugh was probably the greatest thing anyone could ever achieve, because it made the boy utterly shine with happiness.

A big part of Zayn had wanted to get the lad naked as fast as possible, but the rest of him knew that that would be the quickest way to never seeing him again, and Zayn couldn’t stand the thought of never being around that smile again . . . so he’d stayed away. For the most part.

Watching Niall become ever more popular had been hell. Niall had absolutely no idea of how much people loved to be around him and he never suspected anyone of wanting anything more than a casual chat. When it got out that Niall was gay he suddenly had a hell of a lot of guys wanting to buy him a pint, and Zayn had sat fuming into his Desperado until he couldn’t stand it anymore and would interfere. 

Zayn knew Niall wasn’t stupid, knew that Niall had figured out Zayn was intentionally cockblocking him, but also knew that Niall had had no idea that Zayn liked him . . . Which was why it was all the more confusing to Zayn that Niall just let him keep doing it. 

Now things were different, more complicated, because they were fuck buddies, something that Zayn had done a thousand times before, but never like this. 

Zayn had no desire to sleep with anyone else, no itch in his throat telling him someone was getting too close for comfort, no will to run the opposite way. If there was one thing Zayn hated it was that awful situation where the other person was far more attached than he was, he didn’t like being the arsehole that led them on, so he’d drop them as fast as possible. He’d never had it the other way around, because the only kinds of people he fucked were the ones too desperate and cloying for him to end up loving, or the ones who were smart enough to form no kind of attachment beyond a quick fuck and a wink goodbye. The latter were what he aimed for, the former were an unfortunate mistake he tried to avoid like the plague. Niall fit into neither category and so Zayn had no idea how to handle the situation. 

Zayn left Niall dancing with Liam and Harry to go sit in the booth with a sulky looking Louis.

“Hey, man,” Zayn said, fist bumping Louis and sitting beside him.

“Hey,” Louis sighed moodily. 

“What’s wrong?” Zayn asked as he stole a sip of Louis’ pint. The other boy didn’t even kick Zayn for it, so something was definitely up.

“My dad walked in on me and Harry today,” Louis said with a cringe, and Zayn winced in sympathy. With anyone else that would be funny as hell, for Louis and Harry it was pretty much worst case scenario type shit. 

“What were you doing?” Zayn asked, because let’s face it, there were better and worse things to be caught doing. Louis groaned and scrubbed his face with both hands, messing up his fringe.

“Harry facing the wall whilst fucked him into it. With no condom, either, which my dad got even angrier about,” Louis said with an exhausted roll of his eyes. Zayn frowned in sympathy, yep, Louis deserved to be upset.

“What did he say?” Zayn asked a little reluctantly. Louis’ dad had never been nice about gay relationships, he hated Zayn because he was openly bi, but loved wonderfully straight Liam. Louis’ dad would have a fit if he found out that Liam and Zayn had once fucked back when they were 16 and Liam was curious. It hadn’t meant anything more to either of them, just being best friends and being each other’s safety net for curiosity. Liam had enjoyed it but decided it wasn’t his cup of tea, Zayn had shrugged and lit a fag, and they’d both agreed that it had been a good idea that Liam had tested his curiosity on Zayn because Zayn would never do anything to hurt his best friend.

“He said he was disgusted we’d done something so vile in his home. That if we were going to behave like animals then we should be fucking outside. He also said I should go get checked because I could have gotten a ‘fag disease’ from Harry,” Louis said and Zayn felt bile rise in the back of his throat. He wrapped an arm around Louis and pulled him into a tight hug that Louis melted into gratefully.

“Shit,” Zayn murmured into Louis’ hair.

“Yep,” Louis whispered.

“What is Harry on?” Zayn asked softly, glancing to where Harry was dancing and laughing manically on the dance floor.

“I don’t even know. Pretty sure it’s multiple things. He won’t . . . He won’t talk to me,” Louis said in a heartbroken little voice, pressing his face into Zayn’s neck. Zayn hugged him harder. 

“Give him time, Lou. You know he doesn’t know how to handle this stuff. He’ll come back when the high wears off,” Zayn said, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Louis’ head.

“I know . . . I’m just tired of looking into his eyes and not seeing my Harry,” Louis murmured and Zayn tensed because he knew this was one thing Louis had never let himself say. “He has a problem, Zayn. He’s going to end up accidentally killing himself,” Louis whispered and Zayn felt the wetness of tears against his neck.

“Harry’s been on shit for as long as I’ve known him,” Zayn replied.

“Before . . . When we weren’t official and we were just kissing behind closed doors, he hardly ever got high. Only at parties, really. I miss him, you know?” Louis asked and Zayn nodded. 

“Let him have tonight. After this, we’ll start letting him know he needs to stop, okay?” Zayn suggested.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay,” Louis nodded, pulling back and wiping away his tears. 

At that moment Harry came bounding over and threw himself into Louis’ lap.

“I don’t have a fag disease,” Harry pouted, his voice slurred and sloppy, and both Zayn and Louis cringed at that.

“No, you don’t, baby,” Louis agreed, lifting a hand to stroke Harry’s face.

“So can I kiss you?” Harry asked and Louis’ face fell as Zayn’s heart tightened. They both understood, Zayn could tell, that the reason Harry hadn’t come near Louis was that he thought Louis had listened to the horrible things his dad had said.

“You can always kiss me,” Louis whispered, and his eyes shone with a sheen of tears that he would never let fall in front of Harry. Zayn squeezed Louis’ shoulder before sliding out of the booth, leaving them to kiss and make up, and went in search of Niall and Liam.

He found them in the centre, of course, surrounded by people. Liam and Niall were strangely attempting to waltz to ‘Turn Down For What’, and Zayn would bet a lot of money that that had been Niall’s idea. 

Liam was flushed and laughing so hard that Zayn couldn’t help but chuckle in response, and Niall was stunning, face pink and shiny with perspiration, fringe damp and sticking to his forehead. He looked incredible and Zayn stomach tightened with need. 

Niall spun Liam and nearly toppled over, but a random girl caught him at the last minute and Niall gave her a kiss on the cheek in thanks. Zayn’s chest burned.

It was strange to feel so jealous of something so stupid, but it felt like it was warranted when Zayn had no hold over this incredibly beautiful boy, when Niall could sleep with anyone he wanted if he felt like it. He wasn’t Zayn’s, and for the first time Zayn desperately wanted to call a person his and his alone.

Niall looked up with sparkling blue eyes and caught sight of Zayn for the first time, his lips spreading in a wide grin, and for a second it seemed like he would run to Zayn, would wrap his arms around him and hold on tight, but the blond boy hesitated, uncertainty flashing in his eyes, and so Zayn did the only thing he could think of, he stormed over and kissed Niall with as much passion as he could, wanting everyone around them to know that even if Niall wasn’t his, Niall still melted under his touch. 

Niall wrapped his arms around Zayn’s neck and Zayn felt something relax in him. They paused to breathe and stood there still and quiet in the centre of the dance floor, their foreheads pressed together, as people danced and laughed and sang around them, and Zayn had never felt so calm.

That’s what it was about Niall, this boisterous, manically laughing Irishman could calm Zayn like nothing before ever had. Zayn had had foursomes that had left him sated and exhausted, had had some of the best drugs around, had done everything possible to calm his fucking mind, and none of it compared to the stillness within him when he had Niall in his arms. It terrified him.

No one else had ever made him was to lower his barriers, he didn’t know how to be vulnerable.

Zayn leant in and kissed Niall on the nose, which made the blond boy scrunch it up with a husky laugh. Niall leaned in to put his lips to Zayn’s ear.

“Take me somewhere and fuck me until I can’t catch my breath,” Niall whispered just loud enough for Zayn to hear it over the pulsing base. Zayn’s body shot ramrod straight and his cock twitched in his jeans. Every sappy thought left Zayn’s mind and he grabbed Niall’s hand, pulling him through the crowd until they got to the disabled toilets, a single toilet room that was bigger than standard cubicles. Zayn flicked the lock before slamming Niall against the closed door, his hands spread on the cold wood on either side of the blond boy’s head, the base still so loud it vibrated the door beneath Zayn’s palms.

“How drunk are you?” Zayn asked quickly, licking and biting down Niall’s neck.

“Why?” Niall gasped, his hands pulling at Zayn’s jacket until he shrugged it off, letting it fall to the floor. A whimpering Niall takes precedence over his favourite leather jacket.

“If you’re drunk, I’ll suck you off then take you home to tuck you in. If you’re just tipsy I’ll definitely capitalise on how horny you are right now,” Zayn panted against Niall’s collarbone before pulling back to yank off Niall’s tank top.

“Why would you do that?” Niall asked breathlessly, tugging Zayn’s top over his head until they were both shirtless, pulling him close so their bare chests pressed together hotly.

“Not going to take advantage of you, sunshine,” Zayn shrugged, stroking his hands up Niall’s sides reverentially. Niall pressed his hands to Zayn’s shoulders and paused, meeting Zayn’s gaze with wide blue eyes.

“Stop being sweet. I don’t know how to handle it when you’re sweet,” Niall whispered honestly, not taking his eyes away from Zayn’s. Zayn lifted a hand to cup the side of Niall’s face, pressing his thumb to Niall’s lower lip and pushing in a little until he could feel the wet heat of Niall’s mouth. The blond boy hummed and happily sucked on the end of Zayn’s thumb, making Zayn’s stomach swoop.

“I don’t know how to handle it either. I’m only like this with you,” Zayn whispered breathlessly, eyes caught on the sight of his thumb between Niall’s pink lips. Niall pulled his lips off him and Zayn trailed his thumb down Niall’s neck, leaving a slick trail of spit that he blew on just to watch the way Niall shuddered at the sensation.

“Come on,” Niall whimpered, tugging at Zayn’s belt, but Zayn caught his hand to stop him. 

“Not going to fuck you in a club bathroom, Niall,” Zayn grinned and Niall whimpered and slumped against the bathroom door in misery. Zayn caught Niall’s face in his hand once again, forcing him to meet his gaze, Niall’s lips out in a thunderous pout. “I didn’t say I wasn’t going to make you come though, did I?” Zayn smirked out in satisfaction, enjoying the way Niall’s mouth dropped open on a small moan and his eyelashes fluttered. Zayn leaned in to whispered straight into Niall’s mouth: “I’m going to make you come here, and then I’m going to take you home and fuck you in my bed, let you come again all over my sheets.”

Niall pushed forwards hard until he was kissing Zayn with a hungry desperation that made Zayn’s hard dick throb.

Zayn gritted his teeth and pulled back from the kiss, forcibly spinning Niall until his chest was pressed to the door, Zayn pressed to his back.

Zayn slid a hand around Niall to cup him boldly through his jeans, squeezing the prominent bulge of Niall’s erection, making Niall whimper and press his cheek against the door whilst pushing his hips back harder into Zayn’s.

Zayn made quick work of unbuttoning Niall’s jeans and shoving them to just above his knees, his boxers following suit, and wrapped his hand tightly around Niall’s hard dick, stroking firmly but slowly, enjoying the way Niall’s body was jerking and shuddering against his, Niall’s hands scrabbling for purchase on the smooth door, his whimpers pressed against the chipped white paint. 

Zayn kept his hand moving steadily as he pressed a hot, wet kiss to the back of Niall’s neck, and it gave him an idea. Zayn kissed and grazed his teeth down Niall’s spine before biting at the soft flesh of Niall’s arse, never ceasing stroking Niall’s hard length.

Zayn brought his other hand up to squeeze one mound, and the feeling made Niall’s thighs tremble, before using the hold to spread Niall’s cheeks. Zayn licked his lips before darting in to lick lightly over Niall’s hole, steadying him when the blond groaned and his knees almost gave out. Zayn settled into laving long loving licks over Niall’s entrance, kissing the soft skin there and breathing in deep the smell of musk and sweat on Niall’s skin. The attention of Zayn’s hand on his dick and Zayn’s tongue on his hole was too much for Niall, and Zayn felt Niall’s muscles flutter against his tongue as Niall came with a shout of Zayn’s name.

Zayn pressed one last kiss to Niall’s skin before standing up, ignoring the slight ache in his knees, and wiping the back of his hand over his face to get rid of his own spit that had dampened his cheeks and chin. He grabbed some toilet roll and wiped Niall’s come from his hand, before leaning around Niall to wipe the rest off of Niall and the door in front of him. He chucked the mess into the loo before wrapping Niall in his arms and holding the panting boy tightly, ignoring his own aching dick.

Zayn reached down to carefully pull Niall’s boxers and jeans back up, fastening them for him, and Niall turned in his arms to snuggle into Zayn’s neck. It made Zayn smile, this affectionate little gesture, and he knew that that wasn’t exactly a standard reaction after rimming a guy in a public toilet, but he honestly didn’t give a shit.

When Zayn finally got Niall home and naked in his bed, he spent a long time kissing every inch of the boy’s pale skin, swallowing every whimper and gasp he wrung out of him, letting those sounds fill up the empty spaces in his chest. 

***

Niall left early in the morning, grumbling about a hangover as he showered then stole some of Zayn’s clothes, kissing Zayn goodbye before rushing off to get to his morning lecture on time. Zayn locked the door with a feeling of utter satisfaction in his chest.

When he got back upstairs he checked his phone and saw a text from Liam.

\- I need coffee :( come with meee?

Zayn huffed a laugh and typed out a quick ‘yes’. Liam simply sent back a smiley face since Zayn already knows which coffee shop to meet him at from past experience. 

Zayn dressed quickly in grey sweats, a black tank top and his leather jacket. He shoved his trainers on at the front door and set off to the coffee shop.

Liam was stood outside the front door with his arms crossed and a pouty look on his face.

“Hey,” Zayn called as he walked up to him and Liam turned with a smile, giving him a quick hug when they were close enough.

“Hey. I think I’m dying,” Liam said before heading inside, holding the door open so Zayn could follow.

“You say that every time you have a hangover,” Zayn replied with a smile as they stood in the queue. 

“And you’re going to feel like shit when I actually die one day and you didn’t believe me,” Liam said haughtily making Zayn bark out a dry laugh.

They order and sat down, waiting for the lady to bring them over.

“So . . .” Liam started and Zayn narrowed his eyes at him, making his best friend sigh deeply. “How are things with you and Niall?” Liam asked shiftily, trying and failing to keep his face neutral.

“Liam . . .” Zayn sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face.

“Come on, Z, I’m just worried, okay? You told me you wouldn’t try it on with Niall, and look where we are now,” Liam said, a frustrated edge to his voice.

“He came onto me, Li,” Zayn pointed out and Liam rolled his eyes.

“You have been cockblocking him since the day you met him. It’s safe to say that you were the one who started it, Zayn,” Liam said wryly. The waitress set their drinks down on the table and Liam shot her a smile in thanks. 

“Fuck off, Liam,” Zayn muttered, taking a sip of his drink and ignoring the way it burned his tongue.

“No. You just don’t want to admit that you might have feelings for him,” Liam said firmly.

“Liam, what the hell is this all about? Just spit it out,” Zayn snapped, nervous flutters attacking his stomach.

“You can’t fuck him over, Zayn. He’s our friend. Why the hell did you have to get this involved?” Liam asked bluntly and Zayn scrubbed a hand over his face in frustration.

“I’m not gonna fuck him over,” Zayn insisted.

“Of course you are, it’s what you always do. You know I love you. You know that. But I love him too and I don’t want him to get hurt,” Liam said passionately, wide brown eyes locked on Zayn’s. 

“Fuck sake. Niall was the one to make it clear we’re just a fuck to him. I’ve been honest with him from day one, Liam. I haven’t fucked anyone else since we started this,” Zayn fumed and Liam looked shocked.

“Damn,” Liam said and Zayn huffed.

“We’ve only been doing this for just over two weeks, Liam, it’s not like it’s been months,” Zayn snapped.

“Zayn, before Niall how many different people did you sleep with a week?” Liam asked pointedly.

“I don’t know,” Zayn sighed even though he knew exactly was Liam was getting at.

“At least three, usually. And that’s a slow week for you. Two months ago you had a threesome 3 nights is fucking row and never with the same people involved. That’s nine people in three days, Zayn. Face it, you’re a slut,” Liam said with a shrug.

“What the hell is your point, Liam?” Zayn gritted out.

“You’ve been pining after Niall since the start of year one. You’ve fucked anything that moves but go insane the second someone tries to fuck Niall-” Zayn cut Liam off with a sound of protest.

“I do not go insane!” Zayn argued.

“Fine, not insane, but you act like his possessive boyfriend until the guy leaves Niall alone then you go off and fuck out your sexual frustration on someone else. Now that you’re finally fucking Niall you haven’t even thought about shagging someone else. Does this not sound kind of important to you?” Liam asked with raised brows.

“Why the fuck am I friends with you?” Zayn sighed, taking a desperate gulp of his coffee.

“Fuck Niall over after all of this bullshit and I’ll use everything I know as your best friend to ruin you,” Liam said firmly, sipping his own coffee.

“That’s fair,” Zayn sighed exhaustedly, lifting one shoulder in a half shrug.

“You do realise that if you fuck him over you’ll just be screwing stuff up for yourself too? He’s good for you, Zayn, really good,” Liam said earnestly and Zayn had no response to that, deciding instead to hide behind his coffee mug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it but please please please let me know what you thought about it, especially with the switch in POV. Did you like it or not? Would you like it to happen again or for me to just stick with Niall's POV completely?  
> Also, thank you to you guys who came and bugged me on tumblr, you're the reason I've updated today so yay for you :)  
> xxxx


	9. All The Crossed Wires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, so just don't be mad at me, okay?
> 
> Chapter title is from 'The Only Reason' by 5 Seconds of Summer.

NIALL’S POV

 

Niall had been sat alone in his bedroom for over an hour, all alone and kind of freaking out. Things with Zayn were starting to get to him, they just weren’t anything he understood and he honestly doesn’t understand how they became this. Half of the time he thought that maybe Zayn might like him too, but then for the rest of the time it seemed as if Niall is just another in a long line of people who want Zayn’s attention. It was a little draining if he was honest with himself.

He knew the logical thing to do would be to end things with Zayn and look for someone who actually wanted to have a healthy relationship with him, but Zayn had been Niall’s weak spot since the second he met him, Niall couldn’t imagine walking away when he’d finally gotten even a little bit of Zayn’s attention.

Niall realised then that he was dressed in Zayn’s clothes, had the mark of Zayn’s lips on his collarbone and Zayn’s thumb prints staining his hips, so why didn’t he feel claimed yet? He felt like he could pretend all he wanted that each of these things meant he had at least a modicum of Zayn’s affection, but really at the end of the day all they were, were badges from a hasty fuck. Niall sighed wearily.

He pulled out his phone and tapped Zayn’s name, bring up a blank text.

\- Hey, can I come over?

Niall typed then tapped send with trembling fingers. He got a reply straight away with a simple;

\- Yeah 

He pulled off Zayn’s clothes and put them in his backpack, he didn’t have time to wash them, and pulled on his own blue skinny jeans and a black t-shirt, his snapback also black, and left his hair in a soft fringe that poked out the front of the hat.

He shouldered his backpack and set off to Zayn’s, cursing himself for not putting on a hoodie when he realised it’d gotten a little windy since he’d walked home from his last class.

He knocked on Zayn’s front door and heard Zayn shout that it was unlocked, so pushed it open, closing it behind him before heading towards the kitchen where he figured Zayn would be.

Zayn was stood at the kitchen counter playing on his phone and he turned with a smile when Niall walked in.

“Hello, sunshine,” Zayn said softly, putting his phone down and leaning back casually against the counter. Niall dropped his back pack and took a deep breath, but Zayn spoke before he could. “Come here,” Zayn murmured, his eyes heavy-lidded and laden in with promise and heat, teeth grazing his lower lip. Niall couldn’t have said no in a million years.

Niall walked over and Zayn tugged him in by his hips until their fronts were lined up and pressing softly together, their shoulders separated since Niall didn’t want to poke Zayn in the eye with his snapback. Zayn smirked a little and tugged his hat off, placing it on his own head backwards so that the bill wouldn’t poke Niall in the face, and leaned in to kiss him with a slow heat that had him sagging into Zayn’s chest. Not to mention the sight of Zayn in his hat had his tummy doing funny things.

“Hi,” Niall whispered breathlessly when they pulled apart. But Zayn wasn’t listening, he was busy hungrily kissing his way down Niall’s neck and Niall could feel the hot stirring of arousal in his abdomen already. When Zayn’s hands started tugging up his shirt he went along with it submissively, arms by his sides afterwards, hips leant against Zayn’s, mouth open and gasping as Zayn kissed across his chest. Niall felt like he could deny this to himself later, he could go along with this heat now and then later say that it’d just been an accident, and really he hadn’t caused it so it wasn’t his fault.

Zayn moved to gather both of Niall’s wrists in one hand at the small of Niall’s back, moving his mouth up to whisper in his ear.

“I’d love to tie you up. Have you spread out and aching. Would you let me, sunshine? Would you let me? I just want to make you feel good, baby,” Zayn purred breathily, lips brushing Niall’s flushed skin as he grazed his teeth over his earlobe. Niall choked on a whimper at Zayn’s words and at the fact that the hand Zayn wasn’t using to keep his wrists trapped had slid down Niall’s flat stomach to the button of his jeans. Zayn had gotten Niall’s skinnies open and was sliding his hand into Niall’s black Calvin Klein’s, boldly stroking over his rapidly hardening cock. He stroked firmly but slowly and Niall’s pale chest flushed a delicate pink to match his cheeks. “You know what I want to do to you, Niall?” Zayn breathed against Niall’s collarbone.

Niall shakily shook his head in the negative, body twitching as his abdominal muscles clenched hard every time Zayn grazed over the head of his cock.

“I want to tie to up on your front and I want to hitch your hips up so that you’re all pretty and spread out for me. I want to kiss along your skin and follow the blush that spreads there. I want to lick around your hole until you’re wet and shiny and begging me to fuck you with my fingers. When I finally give you what you want I’m going to drag it out for so long, baby, I’m going to have you sweating and panting and desperate for my cock, begging me not to make you come without my cock inside of you.

“Could you handle that, Niall?” Zayn finally asked and honestly Niall was already a sweating mess, his brain completely focussing on the feel of Zayn’s hands around his cock and wrists, on the sound of those words coming from Zayn’s plump, kiss-bruised lips, on the thought of all the things Zayn apparently wants to do to him, and on the fact that his orgasm is close. When Niall couldn’t formulate an answer Zayn reprimanded him by slowing his hand on his cock and circling the base with a firm hold that forced Niall’s orgasm back, making him whimper and lean desperately in to kiss and lick at Zayn’s neck, teeth playing at the tendon there, nipping, hoping he leaves a bruise to be remembered by.

“Could you handle all of it, Niall? I’d fuck you so slow and deep, sunshine. Do you know what I really want to do?” Zayn grated, voice low and husky with desire, Niall could feel the hard shape of Zayn’s dick against his hip.

“What?” Niall asked, wincing at the crack in his own voice, trying to ignore how his chest was heaving now that Zayn had started moving his hand once again.

“I want to come inside of you, I want to feel you without a fucking condom in the way. I want to fill you up as you come on my sheets. I want sit back and look at you, all fucked out and dripping my come,” Zayn whispered and that was it, Niall was coming with a choked yelp, his come painting the front of Zayn’s grey t-shirt. Niall slumped against Zayn, panting heavily into his skin, his hips still twitching with aftershocks. Niall noticed then that Zayn was breathing heavily against his temple, and could tell that Zayn was fighting to hide his arousal, so Niall dropped clumsily to his knees and undid and pulled down Zayn’s jeans and boxers so fast that he hurt his fingers, but he didn’t even pause before wrapping his mouth around the head of Zayn’s cock, sucking messily and bobbing his head fast.

“Fuck,” Zayn swore, his hands coming up to thread through Niall’s hair, gently pressing to guide Niall’s progress, probably getting Niall’s own come in his hair. It only took a few more well-timed sucks before Zayn was coming with a groan. He attempted to pull Niall back and off of him in warning but Niall had stayed resolute, and when Zayn was done he pulled off with an obscene wet sound. Zayn looked down at him and Niall smiled close-mouthed before opening his mouth to shown Zayn his come coating the inside of Niall’s mouth.

Zayn would probably deny the strangled whimper that left his throat at the sight. When it started to drip out of his mouth and down his chin Niall quickly swallowed with a grimace at the taste, before swiping his tongue out to catch the drips on his lower lip. Zayn’s thumb came up to wipe away the come on Niall’s chin before bringing his thumb to Niall’s mouth for him to suck off, which Niall did with exaggerated slowness.

Niall stood and it was a silent agreement that they both really needed a shower, so Zayn led the way, fingers tangled in Niall’s.

They stripped quickly and shuffled under the spray together, Niall shrieking when the water came out freezing, Zayn huffing out a laugh against his shoulder.

When the water finally hit the right temperature and their laughter faded, they were stood silent and still, Zayn plastered to Niall’s back, his lips pressed to the wet skin at the back of Niall’s neck and his arms around Niall’s stomach.

When Zayn moved to nuzzle into the side of Niall’s neck, and his arms squeezed tighter, Niall sighed and wrapped his arms over Zayn’s on his middle.

“Zayn?” Niall whispered, half hoping that his voice would be washed away and down the drain before Zayn could hear him, but his hopes were dashed when Zayn hummed questioningly against his skin. “Do you think . . . Maybe, that we should cool this off for a bit?” Niall murmured, eyes locked on the white tile in front of him, trying to ignore the way that Zayn’s arms loosened a little.

“I, uh, I . . . Why?” Zayn asked haltingly.

“I just think that maybe this isn’t working out like it was supposed to,” Niall whispered, scrunching up his face in pain since he knew Zayn couldn’t see him.

“I . . . Yeah, sure, we can cool it for a few days,” Zayn replied casually and Niall felt like his heart dropped, felt a lurch in his stomach that he fought to ignore.

“Cool. Thanks for understanding,” Niall murmured as lightly as he could manage.

Zayn’s arms left his skin and Niall quickly rinsed off any soap and stepped out of the shower. Zayn stayed in the shower as Niall dried himself off with a towel and hastily pulled on his clothes.

“I’m gonna head home!” Niall called in the direction of the shower and heard a vaguely agreeable sound from Zayn over the spray of the water. He ran downstairs, grabbed his backpack, and left without a backwards glance.

 

***

 

It’d been 4 days since he’d spoken to Zayn and Niall honestly felt like shit. All he could think about was whether or not Zayn missed him too and it was driving him insane. Every night he’d declined Liam’s offer of coming out with the lads, too miserable to even contemplate it, but when Liam texted him asking him if he wanted to come out tonight Niall desperately clung onto it in the hope that a distraction might keep him from going mad.

He dressed quickly in grey skinnies and an oversized black hooded sweatshirt, and he felt whirring butterflies in his stomach at the fact that beneath it he wore Zayn’s t-shirt; he’d forgotten to take Zayn’s clothes out of his backpack the day he’d left. He felt a secret thrill at the thought that he could wear it and no one would know. A pair of grey Nikes and his black snapback completed his outfit. He got little kick of arousal at the thought of what he’d done whilst Zayn wore this hat last time.

When he made it to the pub he easily found Harry, Louis, and Liam sat at their usual booth and he slid in next to Liam with a weak smile.

“Hey, Ni!” Liam said cheerily, slinging his arm around Niall’s shoulders and squeezing him into his side.

“Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in ages!” Harry said with an exaggerated pout, making Niall roll his eyes.

“It’s only been a few days, you fool,” Niall said with a fake smile, reaching over to grab Liam’s pint and steal a sip.

“Have you been locked in Zayn’s room for the past few days? He’s been missing too so I assumed you two were fused at the dick or something,” Louis said and Niall involuntarily tensed under Liam’s arm. His best friend looked at him suspiciously but thankfully didn’t call him out in front of the others.

“Nah, I was doing a shit ton of assignments, my lecturer went insane with the work this week,” Niall shrugged and Harry nodded in understanding.

“Huh, I wonder who Zayn was actually shagging then,” Louis said with a laugh and Niall helplessly tensed once again. Louis might know that Niall and Zayn were sleeping together but he also thought that it was a casual situation like any other of Zayn’s ‘relationships’, he had no idea that whilst they’d been together neither boy had slept with another person, well, if Zayn had been telling the truth at least. Niall supposed he didn’t have that safety net anymore now that he’d asked Zayn to cool it off.

“Louis,” Harry said softly in warning, his worried gaze flicking to Niall’s face. Obviously Niall wasn’t a very good actor because Harry knew something was wrong even if he didn’t know what.

That wasn’t exactly the worst of his problems though because just then Zayn sauntered into the pub looking gorgeous. He was dressed in a ripped pair of black skinny jeans and black ankle Doc Martins with red tartan across the toes, he had on [a red, long-sleeved top](http://thedeliciousrude.tumblr.com/tagged/red-shirt-of-death) that looked painted onto him and Niall honestly had to swallow at the way he looked in it. Zayn had shaved maybe yesterday, because there was only the slightest hint of stubble across his jaw, and his hair was in a high quiff that defied gravity. Niall definitely looked like death-warmed-up in comparison.

Zayn caught sight of them at the booth and headed over, sliding in next to Harry across from Niall, and Niall quickly looked down at the table as everyone else greeted Zayn, unwilling to meet the other boy’s eyes.

Niall could feel the way Zayn was looking at him, could also tell that Liam was looked back and forth between the two boys with a calculating expression.

When Liam casually asked him if he wanted to go get a pint with him Niall sighed because Liam wasn’t exactly subtle. But he let himself be dragged away anyway, eyes helplessly flickering to scan Zayn’s face before he left, his stomach swooping at the way Zayn was gazing after him with dark eyes.

He trudged after Liam who had swerved and headed for an empty booth instead of the bar, and he slid in across from him, rubbing a hand over his face.

“What, Li?” Niall sighed when Liam continued to simply stare at Niall’s face.

“What happened?” Liam asked bluntly.

“I . . . I called it off with Zayn,” Niall answered, too tired and miserable to pretend he didn’t know what Liam was talking about.

“But I thought you were having fun? I thought things were okay?” Liam asked worriedly, his brows drawn together over his sad brown eyes.

“I just, I couldn’t do it, you know? I knew I was getting more and more attached and I didn’t want to put Zayn in an awkward position,” Niall shrugged.

“So you two are over?” Liam asked incredulously and Niall snorted derisively.

“First of all we were never even a thing, so it can’t be over if it didn’t start in the first place. Secondly, I’m not really sure. I asked him if we could cool it off for a bit and we haven’t spoken in a few days at all so . . . I don’t really know what’s going on, to be honest,” Niall shrugged.

“You two shouldn’t have even gotten involved, I knew something like this was going to happen,” Liam sighed, “I fucking warned him not to start owt, and does he listen? Nope.”

“Wait, what? You’ve talked to Zayn about me?” Niall asked with a frown. Liam looked so guilty that Niall raised his brows pointedly, telling Liam to hurry the fuck up and spill about what he’d done.

“I just told him not to fuck you over,” Liam said hesitantly, shrugging nervously.

“There’s obviously more to it than that, Liam. What did you say? What did he say?” Niall asked, his voice filled with his frustration.

“Look, I just warned him that he shouldn’t have started things up with you when he’s not going to be good to you. I don’t want you getting hurt, Ni, and I told him that,” Liam said, eyes wide and earnest.

“Liam I can deal with Zayn myself, thanks, I don’t need people interfering. If this all turns out to be a big mistake, which is very likely, then so what? It’ll be a fun story when we’re old and boring; the time I had the hottest guy ever as a fuck buddy and he crushed me under his Doc Martens, I think the grandchildren would love it,” Niall said dryly.

 

ZAYN’S POV

Zayn sat and seethed as he watched Niall and Liam talk across the room, he was pissed that once again Liam was getting involved even if he did understand that his friend just cared about everyone else far too fucking much, and he was angry that Niall hadn’t even really acknowledged his presence, and he was annoyed that they were obviously talking about him and yet he had no idea what they were actually saying.

When Niall had come over 4 days ago honestly Zayn had still been reeling from his conversation with Liam, and when Niall walked in looking incredible he hadn’t been able to help himself, he’d been ruled by his dick so much so that he’d had no idea that Niall had obviously been planning their ‘cool off’ in his head the entire time.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud but when Niall had walked out of that shower Zayn had had to brace himself against the tiles to stop himself from simply crumbling to the floor. He’d felt like the rug had been pulled out from under him, like he’d been sucker-punched or any other cliché you could think of, he’d had no idea that apparently their situation had been more than Niall was willing to have and that hurt Zayn. Niall was the first person in a long time to make Zayn . . . needy, and it looked like Niall didn’t feel a damn thing for him in return. But . . . Something about the situation niggled at Zayn, the boy who casually asked him to cool off their relationship didn’t match the boy who had been desperate to know if Zayn was sleeping with other people.

Louis had texted him about tonight and Zayn didn’t want to admit that he’d dressed up in the hopes that Niall would be here. But Niall was here and he apparently barely had anytime to notice Zayn’s existence, never mind the fact that Zayn had changed his outfit seven times.

Maybe if Niall were someone else, someone less . . . Niall, then Zayn would blatantly pull the fittest bloke in the room and take him home for a wild fuck that he’d make no effort to hide. But there were two issues with that plan, first, that Niall was actually the fittest bloke in the room anyway, second, Zayn didn’t have the urge or the heart to do it. He didn’t want to hurt Niall, even to prove a point, and there was a little pocket of hurt in his chest that worried that Niall wouldn’t be hurt at all, and Zayn didn’t know which was worse.

Zayn doesn’t want to fuck someone else, he wants Niall to smile at him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)
> 
> As per usual I'm at thedeliciousrude.tumblr.com if you wanna chat or cry with me over Beep Beep Boop.


	10. Easy Baby Maybe I'm A Liar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the long wait, once again, but I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> Chapter title is from 'I'm a Mess' by Ed Sheeran.

Niall could feel Zayn’s eyes still on him even when Liam got up and headed to the bar. He didn’t really know how to feel. Honestly he was fed up of being just enough to fuck but not enough to keep, and that was all Zayn had to offer him, no matter how beautiful he was.

When Niall looked up to find Liam at the bar his eyes instead found another familiar face; the gym guy he’d met last week. R something? Ryan or Richard, Niall thought. At that moment Gym Guy turned and caught Niall looking. When Niall awkwardly smiled and gave a little wave, the guy grinned and headed over. Gym Guy slid into the booth opposite him with a bright smile.

“Hey, we met the other week, ‘m Richard,” Gym Guy- Richard- said brightly.

“Yeah, I remember, you owe me a McDonalds,” Niall grinned back flirtily.

“That’s right,” Richard laughed. “Figured you may have changed your mind, you looked pretty well occupied by that guy,” Richard said with a pointed but not unkind look. Niall winced dramatically.

“Yeah, that didn’t exactly work out,” Niall said mildly.

“Sorry about that,” Richard said with a smile to the contrary.

“Yeah, you look really sympathetic,” Niall said with a snort, making Richard laugh. He was even hotter when he laughed.

“Well, it works out well for me,” Richard said with a shrug.

“Why’s that?” Niall asked coyly, tilting his head to the side.

“Because now I can ask you to dance without getting punched in the face,” Richard chuckled.

“Hmmm, I doubt he’d have done that. He wasn’t really all that bothered about me to be honest,” Niall said casually, ignoring the spike of hurt in his chest.

“I’ll be honest, if we were dating and some other guy came up to you, I’d punch him,” Richard laughed and Niall blushed happily.

“Bet you pack a right punch, look at them muscles! I feel fucking tiny,” Niall laughed, reaching over to squeeze Richard’s brawny arm pointedly, then casually leaving his hand there.

“You look great,” Richard replied simply and Niall blushed again. “So, do you want to dance?” Richard continued with a smile and Niall hesitated but eventually nodded, taking a deep breath and following Richard out of the booth and towards the dance floor. Richard gently took hold of Niall’s hand and pulled him to the centre of the floor, hiding them in the mass of bodies already dancing there.

Niall felt calm for the first time in weeks, he danced and laughed and gave himself up to the music. And that was the problem. There was something in the back of Niall’s mind, a little voice snidely telling him that yes this was all so ‘nice’, but does it get his heart pumping? Does it make his breath catch?

Niall had never really been content with ‘nice’. He’d had a content life in Ireland with his family and friends, but the thought of staying there, of never exploring and being his own person, absolutely killed him. He’d had a boyfriend in Ireland too, a nice lad with a good family, who did well in class and had never even tasted beer, and needless to say that Niall had never felt right in that relationship. He’d been lovely, kind, and caring, but Niall wanted someone who made him nervous, who made him gasp and cling on for dear life because he had no idea what was coming next. Richard felt . . . wholesome. Niall felt like a twat. He should be jumping at the chance of starting something with this guy, he was kind and older, seemed like the kind of guy that after a one night stand he’d be waiting in the morning with a cup of tea and a smile and a promise to call you back that he’d keep.

So when Richard whispered in his ear, asking if he wanted to go back to his for a drink, Niall nodded, internally shoving back the voice that told him this was a mistake.

“I’m just going to say goodbye to my mates, okay?” Niall replied and Richard nodded with a grin and heated eyes that gave Niall only the slightest twinge of arousal. “I’ll meet you by the door, yeah?” Niall called over his shoulder as he headed over to their booth, sliding in next to Liam.

“Hey, man,” Liam smiled.

“Niall!” Harry shouted with a grin, and Niall rolled his eyes fondly at the tipsy fool under Louis’ arm. Niall resolutely ignored Zayn’s brooding presence on the other side of Louis.

“Hey, I just came over to say bye,” Niall said and Liam pouted dramatically.

“You going home already?” Louis asked with a sharp grin, playfully outraged.

“Uh . . . Not exactly,” Niall hedged, but couldn’t stop the blush that stained his cheeks. He also couldn’t stop his eyes from flickering to Zayn, and Niall knew he hadn’t imagined the way Zayn’s jaw muscle had flexed in response, like he was clenching his teeth.

“Oooooh, get in, Niall,” Louis winked, the only one oblivious to the drama between him and Zayn.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going, bye,” Niall said as casually- and as quickly- as he could, before sliding out of the booth and heading back. But before he got to Richard he felt a hand on his arm, stopping him.

When Niall turned he wasn’t all that surprised to see Zayn stood behind him. Zayn’s eyes bored into Niall’s and he felt his stomach flutter with butterflies.

“Don’t go,” Zayn said quietly, face expressionless. Niall groaned. This again.

“Zayn, you can’t just cock block me for the rest of my life,” Niall said, his voice filled with the frustration burning in his chest.

“Just . . .” Zayn started, his stony façade cracking, his eyes flashing with something that looked a little bit lost, and he stepped forwards into Niall’s space, leaning down until his forehead nearly touched Niall’s and his breath ghosted over Niall’s parted lips. “I’m not saying you have to come home with me . . . Just don’t go home with _him_ ,” Zayn continued carefully, hesitantly, and Niall saw for the first time that Zayn Malik was on unsure ground. But Niall couldn’t do this. Maybe at his core he doesn’t want ‘nice’, but he does want ‘love’, and Zayn Malik has none of that to offer, at least not for Niall anyway. So maybe Niall has to give up on searching for the kind of love that thrills, and instead settle for the love that _stays_.

“Bye, Zayn,” Niall murmured before pulling away and walking to Richard without a backwards glance, all the while internally screaming at how fucking unfair this all was.

Niall took Richard’s hand with a smile and kept his smile throughout the taxi ride and the tour of Michael’s flat that inevitably ended in Richard’s bedroom. But he only made it through 2 minutes of kissing him before he couldn’t handle it anymore. Niall gently pushed on Richard’s chest and looked anywhere but in his eyes. Richard sighed.

“What is it?” Richard asked softly and Niall rubbed a hand over his face, forcing back the tears that prickled in his eyes.

“Sorry. I’m sorry. Really. I just, I have to go home. Fuck, I’m . . . I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for coming back to yours and bailing out,” Niall said, his voice thick with the tears he refused to shed.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s not like you owe me anything,” Richard smiled, eyes a little disappointed, but he was taking this better than anyone else had in Niall’s experience.

“I’m so sorry, though. I’m just gonna go home, I’m sorry,” Niall had honestly never felt this stupid before. At the moment he really fucking hated himself.

Richard called him a taxi and gave Niall a kiss on the cheek as he left and Niall wanted to cry even more.

He fell asleep with tear-streaked cheeks, a stuffy nose, and a niggle in his forehead that threatened a miserable hangover in the morning.

 

***

Niall woke up around 2pm and considered staying in bed for the foreseeable future, but dragged his hungover arse into the shower anyway, washing away the salt of tears from his cheeks and the smell of stale beer from his skin.

Showered and clad in only a pair of grey skinny jeans he finally checked his phone.

\- Liam: Zayn got in2 a fight w/ sum guy last night. Had 2 go 2 the hospital. He’s ok tho.

Niall sat there and thought about it, about why Zayn had done that, about if Zayn was really okay, and about why Liam had told him. He sat there until he felt like crying again because he cared too fucking much and all he wanted to do was give Zayn a hug.

Before he could second guess himself he finished getting dressed and set off to Zayn’s, biting his nails the entire way and feeling like he might have to pause to throw up in a bush.

He stood and stared at Zayn front door for 5 minutes before he could calm his breathing and finally knock. When a shirtless Zayn answered the door Niall had to swallow heavily. But then his eyes caught on Zayn’s face, specifically the butterfly stitches over a gash on his eyebrow and a dark bruise over one side of his jaw.

Zayn’s expression was stony and from the way his arm had tensed he was considering shutting the door in Niall’s face, so Niall bit the bullet and stepped close, squeezing past Zayn’s solid form and heading into the living room. He stood in the centre and nearly cried- once again, fuck, he was turning into a soppy bastard- at how different this was than the other times they’d been in this same position. Niall heard Zayn close the front door and follow Niall, coming to rest against the door frame silently.

“Liam texted me, he said you got into a fight last night,” Niall said softly, crossing his arms nervously.

“Yeah, so?” Zayn responded blankly, obviously in no mood to play nice.

“I was worried,” Niall admitted hesitantly.

“Why?” Zayn asked bluntly, tilting his head to the side, eyes dark and narrowed.

“I do care, Zayn,” Niall replied a little testily, swallowing down his nerves.

“Huh,” Zayn responded, a mean little curl to his lips. “Funny. I didn’t think you did. You didn’t last night when you fucked some random guy,” Zayn said firmly, casually, as if his words weren’t barbed. Niall shuddered out a breath. Right. What the fuck does that mean?

“So what if I did fuck Richard?” Niall asked with a narrow eyed glare at Zayn, feeling a spark of anger in his chest. “Why the fuck does that matter to you?” Niall asked, and he could tell he’d stumped Zayn on how to answer. “We’re taking a break from whatever it was we were doing before, and that’s the point, there isn’t even anything to call what we were doing before. We weren’t and aren’t in a relationship. You have no say in who I fuck or who fucks me,” Niall said bluntly, fed up with all the confusion and the angst.

“I fucking do! You were the one who came to me. You were the one that started this!” Zayn snapped, finally losing his composure.

“And I fucking finished it too,” Niall spat, instantly regretting it. He scrubbed his hands over his face, groaning in angry frustration. “Why the fuck do you do this?” Niall snapped, flinging his arms wide.

“I haven’t done anything, unlike you,” Zayn growled.

“You fucking have! You act like this is nothing, like what we were doing was nothing, and then you get mad when I treat it that way! You act like I’m no one to you, like I’m just another fuck like everyone else you’ve whored around with, but the second I go near another guy you get pissed. I don’t know where I fucking stand and I’m so bloody fed up of feeling like I’m not enough,” Niall spat out desperately, his heart pounding out of his chest, his throat tight with the terror that came with being utterly vulnerable.

“I never treated you like you were no one! But you sure as hell made it clear that I’m no one to you when you shagged that wanker last night,” Zayn argued furiously and Niall could’ve laughed at how pathetic all of this was.

“I did not fuck him,” Niall said, enunciating every separate word. Zayn’s face went blank with shock. “I went back to his house then . . . I couldn’t, so I went home,” Niall explained, leaving out the awkward crying. Zayn looked like he couldn’t catch his breath and he didn’t say a word as they locked gazes. It felt like hours later when Zayn finally spoke.

“Why-” Zayn’s voice cracked and he had to pause, clear his throat, “Why did you ask to cool things off?” Zayn asked, his voice smaller than Niall had ever heard it. Niall thought about whether or not to lie, but he was kind of over pretending he didn’t care.

“I was getting too attached, I guess. I was so confused about how I felt and what we were and how you felt and just . . . I couldn’t handle it. I thought if I asked to cool things off then I’d get over it, get over you, but to be honest I just feel like shit,” Niall shrugged. Zayn scrubbed a hand over his mouth, looking a little awe-struck.

“I don’t . . .” Zayn murmured and Niall felt a spike of embarrassment.

“I’m not, like, I don’t expect you to want me, Zayn. I know you don’t . . . do relationships, or whatever. I was just being honest because you asked. I don’t expect you to ask me to be your boyfriend or whatever,” Niall rolled his eyes, acting like this was nothing, but his chest squeezed tight and his heart ached.

“Can . . . Can I take you out for like, dinner or something, sometime?” Zayn asked, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck and shuffling his feet.

“What?” Niall asked dumbly.

“Fuck, Niall, don’t make me repeat it,” Zayn muttered awkwardly, cheeks flushing a little.

“You’re serious? You want to like . . . take me on a date?” Niall asked, feeling a little breathless. Zayn’s face seemed to soften at Niall’s awestruck words.

“Yeah, Niall, I want to take you on a date,” Zayn said softly, affectionately, and Niall had to bite his bottom lip to stop his smile.

“Okay,” Niall said with a nod and Zayn grinned before standing up straight and slowly walking over to tug Niall against his chest, holding him tight and kissing him softly on the forehead. Niall nuzzled his face into Zayn’s collarbone and sighed happily.

“What the fuck are you doing to me, sunshine,” Zayn murmured against Niall’s hair and Niall pressed a gentle kiss to the side of Zayn’s neck, thinking that maybe Zayn didn’t realise how far Niall would go stay in his arms for as long as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So their first date will be the next chapter! :D I'm excited aha.  
> Let me know what you thought of this chapter :)


	11. What We Got Here, How We Fucking Got Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I haven't updated in ages and I felt bad so here's the first date and also, a few of you really wanted Zayn's fantasy to become reality . . .
> 
> Little side-note, "Khalib" is pronounced pretty much the same as 'Caleb'.
> 
> Chapter title is from 'Rolling Stone (Explicit)' by The Weeknd, which I actually thought was pretty good for Zayn's character lyrics-wise.

Niall was maybe, possibly, a teeny, tiny bit, freaking the fuck out. He’d been trying on outfits for the better part of three hours and still he had no idea what to wear for his date with Zayn. His date. With Zayn Malik. Fuck. Niall was sweating just thinking about it, his stomach a roiling mess of nerves.

He picked up his phone with trembling fingers and sent a quick text to Harry begging him to come over right now. He never got a reply but ten minutes later Harry was walking into his flat with a grin, a split lip, and wind-tangled curls.

“Fuck, what happened to your lip?” Niall asked, shocked, walking over to touch his fingers to Harry’s jaw, inspecting the damage. Harry flushed and something like guilt swirled in his eyes.

“I, um, I got in a little debt with a dealer. Apparently joking and asking if a cuddle would do as payment isn’t a very smart idea,” Harry said with a wince.

“Shit. Does Louis know?” Niall asked with a frown and from the way Harry’s face clouded over Niall knew the answer before he spoke.

“It only happened the other night. Told Louis I had loads of work to do for class,” Harry said with a sheepish look on his face. 

“Haz, you need to tell him,” Niall said firmly, placing a comforting hand on Harry’s upper arm. The taller boy seemed to hunch over on himself, becoming smaller.

“He’ll get mad and shout at me. He told me to keep the using to a minimum and he’d pay for it so my parents wouldn’t find out again. If he finds out I went over the limit he gave me he’ll be so pissed off,” Harry muttered, wrapping his arms around himself. 

“Haz . . . You need to start cutting down on that shit, man. It’s gonna get you into a whole mess of crap if you keep going the way you are,” Niall said tentatively. Harry’s fondness for drugs of the more recreational kind had been a situation they’d all tried to stay out of, not wanting to push the boy away, but they’d all noticed how Harry’s eyes were dilated more often than not, his wide, beautiful smiles just a little too sloppy to be sober. Niall also knew it had a lot to do with Louis’ dad and his lack of acceptance.

“I know,” Harry sighed softly, looking down at the floor, but he seemed to just as quickly shake off the mood and he looked at Niall with wide, shiny eyes. “Who are you going on a date with?” he asked excitedly. Niall had to consciously force himself to drop the topic, to put it away for later and bring himself back to his earlier anxiety about his date. 

“Uh, Zayn,” Niall said with a sheepish smile and Harry laughed. 

“You’re going on a date with Zayn? How the hell did you manage that?” Harry asked brightly and his blood might as well have been made of champagne he was so dazzling. Niall had the sudden mental image of all that beauty dimmed and worn out, of Harry wrung out from drugs, his skin pale, his body gaunt, and he knew it could easily happen, especially since Harry’s parents had been threatening Harry with fully cutting him off if they caught him under the influence of drugs. Luckily for Harry he was very good at hiding that part of himself. Niall inwardly shook himself, trying to dislodge those dark thoughts.

“He asked me, actually. I don’t know, it’s all new. I just don’t have a fucking clue what to wear,” Niall sighed. Harry clapped his hands together.

“Good luck you have a friend like me, then,” he said with a grin before spinning off to tear through Niall’s wardrobe like the Tasmanian Devil off of Looney Tunes.

A few minutes later various items of clothing were thrown at Niall until he was finally dressed and hopefully hot enough to be considered worthy of a date with a guy who had openly admitted to never wanting a relationship.

Harry left him with a kiss on the cheek and a smile that seemed a little too bright, especially when Niall could see the hurt and worry in his eyes, but the taller boy gave Niall no time to protest before he was walking away in the direction of, not his own flat, but Louis’. Niall just hoped Harry would tell Louis the truth. 

Zayn arrived at his door with a tentative knock, and when Niall opened the door the dark haired lad was stood nonchalantly against the wall, unlit cigarette between his teeth, his lighter flicking on and off under his thumb by his side. 

“Hey,” Niall said softly, a nervous smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Zayn looked . . . dangerous. Like the kind of guy you knew would give you the fuck of your life but wouldn’t stick around a moment after he’d thrown the condom away. Which, apart from recently, had been Zayn’s modus operandi. He was dressed in black skinnies and a black vest, a pair of heavy docs on his feet and a black and red checked shirt un-buttoned over his vest. A small hoop sat through one ear and glinted a little in the light of Niall’s porch, the sky beyond it turning to the smoky shades of dusk.

Zayn smiled and when Niall playfully stole the cigarette from his mouth his smile turned into a grin.

“Hey, sunshine,” Zayn said softly. Niall stepped close to slide the cig into Zayn’s back pocket, noticing how the closeness made Zayn’s eyes drop to his mouth, but moved back before Zayn could decide whether or not to make a move. 

“Where are we going?” Niall asked a little hesitantly, not really sure of how to act, whether or not to keep this loose and casual. Zayn reached out to twine his fingers with Niall’s as soon as Niall closed and locked the front door, tugging him out to the street and down the road in the opposite direction to what Harry had gone earlier.

Holding Zayn’s hand did something strange to Niall, made laughter bubble in his chest that he refused to voice, and Niall ‘accidently’ walked so close to Zayn that their sides bumped occasionally. 

“It’s, like, it’s no where posh or anything. It’s just this little restaurant I used to go to as a kid all the time. My dad knows the owner,” Zayn said, and Niall heard the slight underlay of nerves and smiled at the other boy reassuringly.

“I’m sure it’ll be really nice,” Niall said with a smile and Zayn returned it, his fingers tightening around Niall’s for a moment.

The walk took only 15 minutes and both men were quiet for the most part, but it wasn’t a heavy silence. The restaurant was intimate with low-lighting and a décor of warm, rich colours that reminded Niall of what little he knew about the middle-east. Niall didn’t claim to be knowledgeable about other cultures, though.

The seats were plush and sat low to the floor in bright, jewel-toned velvets with an abundance of cushions, but there were also more English elements. It seemed to be a wonderful mess of culture and Niall loved it, loved that it didn’t’ conform to any one thing. 

They were seated by a woman with wide brown eyes and a smile to rival Harry’s, and after bringing them a jug of water, they were left to look at the menu.

“So what do you think?” Zayn asked from where he was sat adjacent instead of across from Niall.

“I love it already. If they have huge portion control I’ll be sold,” Niall grinned and Zayn huffed out a small laugh at that, picking up his menu. 

“The food is a bit of a mash up here, so don’t worry if you’re not into spicy food or whatever,” Zayn said calmly and Niall grinned.

“Food is food,” he shrugged and this time Zayn’s laugh wasn’t quiet or controlled. Before Zayn’s laugh had fully faded a tall man with a wide smile came to stand at the corner of their table.

“Khalib!” Zayn said happily, standing to accept the hug the other man offered with wide arms.

“You have grown at least a foot since I last saw you! And how has your mother not killed you for all of those tattoos?” the tall man- Khalib- asked with a playful expression, making Zayn laugh as he retook his seat.

“Well, I sure as hell hope I’ve grown since I was 13,” Zayn laughed and motioned for Khalib to take a seat which the man did with the kind of grace Niall saw in very few people. “And m’ mum has given up. She just pretends not to notice when a new piece shows up,” Zayn grinned happily and Niall gazed at him with a feeling akin to awe. He’d never really seen Zayn so relaxed and openly happy. He’d have fun with the lads but he was still very remote in certain respects, always remained a little out of the loop, almost on purpose it seemed to Niall. Liam had been the only person Niall had seen Zayn drop his guard around, and that had been a very rare occasion. But if Niall were to make a guess he’d say that this man was along the lines of family to Zayn, and the carefree joy on his face told Niall that family, whether by blood or not, was very important to Zayn. A little of the tight wariness around Niall’s heart loosened at that. 

“Well, you’re lucky. My mother would have my head if I came home with doodles on my arms, and she’s well into her 80’s. Now, who is your friend?” Khalib asked, smiling at Niall in welcome. Niall held out his hand to shake the other man’s, his palm swallowed in the larger man’s hand. 

“I’m Niall Horan, nice to meet you,” Niall nodded with a grin.

“And uh, he’s my date, not a friend, although he is that too,” Zayn said a little awkwardly, his cheeks blushing a soft pink, but Niall melted at the fact Zayn had made the distinction to someone he obviously loved and respected. Niall moved his hand to lay it softly on Zayn’s jean-clad thigh, sharing a soft, secret smile with him when he glanced at Niall from under his long, dark lashes. 

“Ah, well, what are your prospects, young man? I can’t have my Zayn throwing his lot in with just anyone,” Khalib said with a wink at Niall, making him bite his lower lip to stifle a laugh. Zayn’s hand moved to cover Niall’s where it sat on his thigh. 

“Well, I’m on a music theory course and I think I might get my PGCE after I’m done so that I can teach music,” Niall offered happily. Zayn looked at him thoughtfully and Khalib gave him another smile.

“That sounds great. Seems like a nice lad, Zayn, even if he is Irish,” Khalib said with a playful wink at Niall. 

“Hey!” Niall protested with a laugh and Zayn chuckled, wrapping an arm around Niall and tugging him close, pressing a soft, laughing kiss to Niall’s cheek before letting him go again. Niall knew his cheeks were on fire with a deep blush and tried to hide his smile behind the rim of his glass of water, but from the knowing look Khalib gave him, he wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Alright, I’m going to leave you two to order your food. Have a look at the sweet menu, your deserts are on the house,” Khalib said before leaving them alone once again.

“I like him,” Niall said to Zayn, feeling truly calm for the first time in weeks.

“Me too. He’s a friend of my dad’s. I’ve known him since before I could walk,” Zayn said, and his eyes were soft, his body relaxed and lazily spread on the lush red chair upon which he’d chosen to sit, his full lips kicked up at the corners with contentment. He was stunning. Niall couldn’t help himself when he leaned in to capture Zayn’s lips in a soft, chaste kiss that was all about affection with none of the overwhelming lust that had powered all their previous kisses. The lust was there, but it was a slow simmer in his abdomen, a steady heat instead of a storm that blew away rational thought and left him aching and needy. Zayn kissed him back just as gently, his hand coming up to cup Niall’s jaw. They pulled apart when a soft laugh came from the end of their table. Niall looked up with a blush to see one of the women who worked here, her eyes bright with mirth.

“Are you ready to order?” the woman asked politely and Zayn looked a little lost so Niall took over.

“Uh, could you give us a few more minutes, please?” Niall asked and the woman nodded before wandering off to another table.

As soon as the woman had turned her back though Zayn’s hand was back on his jaw and he was being tugged gently back into another indulgent kiss. Niall laughed into the kiss and he felt Zayn’s mouth smile against his. Zayn’s hand was so tentative across his skin, a tingling caress that left Niall loose-limbed.

They pulled apart slightly, sharing breaths, their foreheads touching.

“You kissed me like I might break,” Niall whispered, unsure why he’d felt the need to state the thought aloud.

“I kissed you how I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first time you laughed at something I said,” Zayn whispered back. Niall’s heart kick-started at that, his breath stuttering out, his body curving closer to Zayn.

“Why didn’t you?” Niall asked breathlessly. Zayn pulled back a little and gave Niall a smile that drew him in, made him feel like he was in on something private, something secret between them.

“Liam would have killed me. And . . . I’m glad I didn’t,” Zayn admitted quietly. Their voices stayed hushed, perhaps the softness of their voices lulled them both into feeling a little more secure when it felt like they had nothing but each other to cling to on this uneven ground. 

“Why?” Niall asked, frowning a little, unsure whether or not this was a bad thing.

“I didn’t know you enough. Would have had no idea what I’d be throwing away if I’d slept with you then left,” Zayn shrugged and Niall had to take a deep breath to steady himself.

“So . . . you’re not just gonna leave?” Niall breathed out, his voice barely even a whisper, his eyes wide as he searched Zayn’s gaze for anything to reassure himself.

“I think we’ve already established that I can’t just walk away now,” Zayn said lightly, but his eyes were dark with something Niall couldn’t name, and it slid over his skin like silk.

“Really?” Niall asked, a smile starting to pull at his lips.

“I’ve never brought anyone here before. I’ve never taken someone out for dinner,” Zayn said, and it was everything Niall needed to know for now, so he gave Zayn one more peck before leaning back and perusing the menu casually, whilst internally shrieking and flailing.

They ordered their food and it came quickly. Niall moaned at his first mouthful, making Zayn laugh loudly and Khalib shoot them a fond look. They bought two different deserts and had half each of both, Niall teasingly feeding Zayn a spoonful and purposefully smudging it over Zayn’s top lip, but Zayn got his revenge with the way he held eye-contact as he slowly licked his lips. The second his own lips were clean he swiped his forefinger through the chocolate sauce and painted it across Niall’s bottom lip, leaning in to catch it between his teeth, laving his tongue across Niall’s chocolate covered lip. He licked Niall’s mouth clean before tangling their tongues, the blond boy letting out a soft moan at the taste of chocolate, cream, and Zayn. 

When the plates were cleared away and they both sat with a small decanter of Khalib’s private whiskey store, it felt like Niall couldn’t stop himself from keeping at least one point of contact between him and Zayn at all times. Zayn’s eyes were lazily watching his every movement and Niall was getting a little bit desperate. He picked up the decanter and downed the last of his whiskey, wincing a little at the fire in his throat before leaning over to brush his lips against the skin just below Zayn’s ear.

“Take me back to yours,” Niall whispered, shivering when Zayn slid a hand down his back. Zayn nuzzled into the side of Niall’s neck, taking a nip with his teeth and breathing in deep before sliding back and walking over to the counter to pay their bill, leaving Niall a little breathless and a lot flustered.

The walk to Zayn’s was silent, both of them too keyed up to idly chat, their hands clasped tightly together. As soon as Zayn shut and locked the door behind him he was clasping the back of Niall’s neck and yanking him in for a deep, bruising kiss that hand Niall clawing at Zayn’s t-shirt. They stumbled up the stairs, leaving a trail of clothes and laughing breathlessly at close calls, almost falling down the stairs multiple times. 

They were both naked as they crashed through Zayn’s bedroom door and as they fell onto the bed in a messy tangle of limbs, Niall’s skin almost shockingly pale against Zayn’s darker skin, the moonlight coming through the open curtains throwing everything into shades of pale white or inky darkness since they hadn’t turned on a single light. 

“Zayn?” Niall gasped as the other man started to kiss his way down his neck.

“Yeah?” Zayn breathed against Niall’s collarbone, making him shiver happily.

“Y-you remember that fantasy you had?” Niall asked, cheeks flushing in embarrassment he forced himself to ignore. Zayn looked up then and his grin was a white slash in the darkness of the room, a little too wicked, too feral, to calm Niall’s racing heart.

Instead of answering, Zayn slowly slid his body off of Niall’s, moving to his wardrobe and pulling out a box. Niall’s eyes were caught between gazing nervously at the box and appreciatively ogling Zayn’s naked body. When Zayn pulled a few pieces of silky looking material out of the box and approached Niall with a heated look, Niall squirmed nervously on the bed. Zayn placed them on the bed beside Niall but before he could ask Zayn was on top of him again, sliding between Niall’s thighs and pressing their hips together in a skilled undulation that had Niall choking on a moan that Zayn swallowed, kissing Niall hungrily, demanding all of his attention. Zayn slowly slid his fingers around Niall’s wrists, pinning them to the bed on either side of Niall’s head, but Niall couldn’t focus on his actions when he still moved with those liquid rolls of his body, rubbing their lengths together hotly.

Niall went to thread his fingers in Zayn’s hair but was stopped by a feeling of tightening around his wrist. He pulled back from the kiss and gazed in shock at the fact that his wrist was now tied to the bed post with that silky fabric. He gave a testing tug on his other wrist and got the same result. When he looked up Zayn was looking down at him with a deep kind of satisfaction, the kind that came from finally getting something he’d wanted more than he’d let on.

Zayn began to kiss down Niall’s body with the kind of patience that came from him knowing Niall couldn’t move unless he wanted him to. He kissed and licked over Niall’s body until he was a sweating, panting mess atop the twisted sheets. Zayn slowly released Niall’s wrists only to flip him over and re-tie him on his front. Niall panted into the pillowcase, his head turned to the side and facing the blank wall, unable to see Zayn now. But Zayn moved, came to press his lips to Niall’s jaw, pressing the front of his body to Niall’s back, their skin flush together, but Zayn’s weight held off of him.

Zayn’s teeth grazed over Niall’s earlobe and he shivered, his hips twisting for friction beneath his hold, but Zayn simply pressed down harder, stopped him from moving. 

“What did I say I’d do, Niall? Come one, baby, say it to me,” Zayn coaxed, his voice husky and deep, his lips dragging up and down Niall’s neck and across his shoulders.

“You said . . .” Niall trailed off, embarrassment locking his throat.

“Come on, tell me. I can’t do it unless I know you want it, sunshine,” Zayn whispered and Niall swallowed hard, trying to force away his ingrained shame at admitting something like that out loud when he’s stone-cold sober.

“You s-said you . . . You wanted to lick . . . to lick me,” Niall managed, body trembling.

“Hmmmm, lick you where? Your pretty cock?” Zayn purred, dragging his fingers up and down Niall’s side.

“N-no,” Niall moaned out, turning to bury his face in the pillow. “You said you wanted to eat me out,” Niall muttered into the pillow and he felt Zayn’s body shake with laughter atop him.

“I do want to,” Zayn murmured before sliding down Niall’s back, making him gasp loudly and turn his face back out of the pillow. 

Zayn spread Niall’s thighs with a hold on the back of his knees, moving to kneel between them, and Niall flushed hotly. When Zayn’s hands moved to slide under his hips, tugging him up until Niall went to his knees, upper chest still pressed to the bed, Niall had to fight his every instinct that demanded he close his legs and hide himself, he felt so vulnerable and bare to Zayn’s gaze . . . to his mouth. 

Zayn’s mouth was a barely there touch at first, a teasing brush that had Niall bending his back harder, spreading his knees wider. At the first real touch of Zayn’s tongue Niall whimpered, bit at his own forearm to muffle the sound. But Zayn heard, and the desperate plea seemed to snap his control, and his mouth sucked and licked at Niall’s entrance, long laves and pointed licks that left Niall moaning and whimpering and squirming with need. When Zayn’s tongue nudged inside of him Niall’s abs clenched and he bucked his hips back, riding Zayn’s tongue. Zayn let him, held his mouth in place and let Niall move for a few wild moments before locking his hands on Niall’s pale hips and holding on so tight as to leave little finger-tip bruises on his skin. He forced Niall’s hips to stay still and moved his mouth over Niall in a relentless, intense barrage of sensation that made tears leak from Niall’s eyes, the blond boy almost sobbing into the pillow. When Zayn suddenly removed his mouth and let go of his hips Niall slumped to the bed, his hips falling flat, legs splayed, back moving with his heaving gasps, his cock hard and leaking under his stomach.

“Oh god, oh shit, oh fuck,” Niall gasped into the pillow, fringe stuck to his face with perspiration. Zayn leaned off and made some noise at the drawers but Niall couldn’t move his body trembling and his muscles like jelly.

When a lube-slick finger suddenly brushed over his entrance Niall sucked in a shaky breath, but instead of sliding in like Niall desperately craved, Zayn circled over him over and over until Niall was pushing his hips back again and again, trying to force him, but Zayn held off. Niall squirmed restlessly, even sliding up onto his knees and bending his back, blushing at the way he was basically presenting his arse to Zayn, but far too desperate to stop himself.

“What do you want?” Zayn murmured, his voice throaty, made for phone sex if that was still a thing. 

“Please?” Niall begged, his voice small and cracked, his accent lost in a slur of his loose lips.

“Come on, Niall, you know how this goes,” Zayn said, his voice filled with cockiness that shouldn’t be as attractive as it is.

“Finger me,” Niall blurted and blushed immediately, groaning and burying his face in the cushion. But his embarrassment was short lived as Zayn firmly pushed in his middle finger. Niall keened, a long, high-pitched sound that he would refuse to admit to later. Zayn gave no room for Niall to catch his breath, sliding his finger in and out, wiggling it around until he could slide his pointer finger in beside it. Niall’s hands gripped at his restraints, pulling hard, his arms going taught, his muscles stood in stark relief on his sweaty skin.

When Zayn slid in a third finger Niall was done with it.

“Zayn, please. Please fuck me. Z-zayn?” Niall whimpered, so close to coming but Zayn was purposefully brushing his prostate in uneven patterns, leaving him aching for more, for the thickness of Zayn’s cock.

“Yes. Yeah,” Zayn said, his voice a little breathless, and Niall clung to that feeling that Zayn was into this too, that he was enjoying doing this to Niall.

He removed his fingers and leaned over to get a condom but Niall protested hesitantly, making him pause. 

“I . . . I’m clean. Are you?” Niall asked quietly, only so brave because Zayn couldn’t see his face. Zayn was silent for a few moments. 

“I got tested when we weren’t speaking,” Zayn said slowly. “Came back clean.” His voice was hesitant, like he didn’t want to get his hopes up. “You can see the forms if you want?” Zayn offered softly but Niall didn’t even acknowledge that.

“We, um, we don’t have to use a condom, if you don’t want,” Niall offered quietly and he knew Zayn hadn’t expected Niall to actually offer him the end of his fantasy, had known that would be a big step for them to take when they weren’t in a real relationship. Niall had always been meticulous about safe sex but . . . they were both clean, and Niall wanted the whole thing, wanted every dirty word Zayn had whispered to him almost a week ago. 

“Yeah. Fuck. Yes, fuck,” Zayn muttered, voice filled with shock and lust. Movement behind him and Niall knew Zayn would be pouring the lube into his hand and sliding it over his bare cock. When the blunt end of Zayn’s dick pressed at his entrance Niall took a deep breath and slowly let it out as Zayn sunk into his body. His thick length stretched Niall’s muscles and set off spasms of pleasure and a little bite of pain, his muscles burning a little with the stretch. 

When Zayn’s hips finally hit the back of Niall’s thighs they both let out a shuddering breath, pausing to catch their breath. Zayn leaned down to press a wet kiss to the salty skin at the top of Niall’s spine.

“You okay?” Zayn whispered and suddenly the mood felt so much more fragile, and yet it felt so much deeper, so much more important, the quiet between them the kind that wanted to be filled with words you can’t take back. 

“Yeah. Are you?” Niall asked shakily and in answer Zayn slid his hands up Niall’s arms to unbind his wrists, but kept his arms extended, tangling his fingers with Niall’s above Niall’s head.

“Never better,” Zayn said, a playful voice that whispered over Niall’s skin and made him smile, but his smile dropped and his mouth opened on a silent moan as Zayn slid from his body, setting up a steady, deep rhythm that hit Niall’s prostate almost every time. Niall came with a shout that was more of a sob. His body went lax and Zayn fucked in and out of him before pressing in hard and coming with a groan. He stayed there gasping for a few moments. 

“Shit,” Niall breathed out and Zayn laughed breathlessly. 

Zayn pulled out slowly to sit back on his haunches, but Niall couldn’t move, his body sated and heavy-limbed. 

“Come up on your knees for me, baby,” Zayn whispered and Niall sleepily moved when Zayn’s hands pulled him until he was up on his knees, his chest and face still pressed to the bed. Niall’s eye-lids were heavy with exhaustion his body wrung out. And he grumpily wrinkled his nose when he felt Zayn’s cum started to leak out of him and down his thigh. But Zayn groaned at the sight so Niall stayed still instead of swiping at the mess and running to the bathroom . . . if he could even manage to stand up, anyway.

Zayn’s hands slid slowly over the curve of his arse, gripping his cheeks and spreading them slightly, much to Niall’s sleepy embarrassment. 

“Fuck. I’d take a photo of you and make it my fucking wallpaper but I’d have to beat the shit out of anyone else who saw it,” Zayn said in a voice that was filled with awe and sated lust, a deep satisfaction ringing through every word.

“You’re not takin’ a picture of m’ arse,” Niall muttered sleepily and Zayn laughed, pressing a kiss to one arse cheek before letting Niall lay back down.

The other body left the room for a few moments and Niall fought to keep himself awake.

Niall was shocked awake by the cool touch of a wet flannel between his thighs as Zayn wiped away the lube and come as much as he could without sticking it up Niall’s bum. He threw the flannel somewhere and slid into the bed, tugging Niall under the covers with him. Niall fell asleep with his face smushed into Zayn’s neck and very happy about it, his arse throbbing and his wrists aching, but his chest felt tight with a kind of contentment he hadn't really felt yet with Zayn. His last thought before he fell asleep was that the knot of anxiety about whether or not Zayn wanted him had gone quiet for the first time, and that he was probably a naïve idiot for thinking everything would be fine now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you liked this, please let me know?
> 
> Come to my tumblr (thedeliciousrude) for a chat if you'd like :) I love talk to you guys over there.


	12. Would You Still Call Me Baby?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiii :D I've finally written an update! I'm so, so, so sorry about the huge delay. Life has been pretty hectic for the past few months.
> 
> I really hope you like this, please let me know what you think :)
> 
> Chapter title is from 'Dark Star' by Jaymes Young.
> 
> xxxxx

The next morning Niall woke up with an aching but sated body and when he twisted around in the sheets and found Zayn still sleeping beside him he couldn’t contain his smile. He wiggled around onto his stomach and laid his head on his crossed arms, taking the opportunity to stare at Zayn’s stupidly attractive face. Niall sighed. It really wasn’t fair that Zayn was so damn attractive. Surely he’d been made in a lab somewhere, this kind of beauty just doesn’t happen in real life. Unless his parents are gods or something. Niall wondered what Zayn’s parents looked like, but blushed and forced himself away from that thought, it was a bit early to be thinking about meeting the parents. They aren’t even an official couple.

Suddenly Niall’s mood plummeted.

“I can hear you thinking. Shut up, I’m trying to sleep,” Zayn mumbled and Niall huffed a quiet laugh into his arm. “And stop staring at me,” Zayn mumbled with a smirk, eyes still closed and Niall blushed heavily.

Zayn opened one eye and grinned sleepily at the flustered look on Niall’s face before reaching out and yanking him close until Niall was laid on his chest, cheek pressed to Zayn’s collarbone.

“Why are you awake so early,” Zayn muttered before a yawn interrupted the last word. Niall smiled and leaned up to peck his chin, turning to settle on crossed arms on Zayn’s chest so he could look up at him.

“It’s-” Niall paused looking over at the alarm clock on the bedside table, “- already half past ten, Zayn. Normal people are up by now. Especially people with early lectures like the ones we’ve now missed,” Niall pointed out with a smile. He couldn’t exactly be mad about missing a lecture when the reason was lounging in a bed with Zayn fucking Malik.

“Shhh, it’s too early for logic,” Zayn murmured, looking like he was about to fall back asleep, so Niall rolled his eyes and began sliding down Zayn’s body. He sucked a bruise into Zayn’s hip that had the other boy groaning softly and when Niall was face to, well, dick, with Zayn’s groin, he found him already semi-hard. Thank god for morning glory.

Niall gripped his steadily fattening length with one hand and flicked out his tongue, teasing over the slit. He heard Zayn sigh as he finally sucked the tip into his mouth. Niall steadily worked Zayn’s length into his mouth but as soon as it got to the back of his throat he gagged and pulled off, looking up at Zayn apologetically.

“I have the worst gag reflex,” Niall said, blushing, and Zayn cracked out laughing, reaching down to tug Niall back up the bed.

“That was almost smooth,” Zayn teased and Niall pouted at him.

“Oh, I’m so sorry Mr I’m-so-smooth-I-went-out-and-got-a-sappy-tattoo-about-a-guy-I-like,” Niall said with a raised brow and the smile immediately dropped from Zayn’s face and his cheeks flushed a soft shade of pink. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Niall said smugly and Zayn pinched him on the arse in retaliation.

Somehow that turned into a pinching war and they were rolling on the bed and giggling breathlessly against each others' mouths. When Zayn kissed him Niall kissed him back just as hard, pulling him down on top of him until their chests lay pressed together. Zayn shifted until his hips were cradled between Niall’s thighs, grinding their hips together and providing friction for both their erections.

Zayn pulled back to grab the lube from the bedside table, squirting it on his hand before reaching between them to slick both of their cocks with it. He wiped his hand off on the sheets and began to grind his hips once again, making Niall moan long and hard against his neck, the new slide even more amazing that before. Zayn worked his hips steadily until they were both panting into each others' mouths and Niall was coming on both of their stomachs with a breathless whimper, Zayn coming a few moments later with choked groan.

Zayn collapsed on top of him, not caring that with the amount of come between them they were probably going to end up stuck together.

“You oaf,” Niall muttered, but he still wrapped his arms around Zayn’s back and his legs around his hips to hold him closer.

“Shut up, I made you come, be nice to me,” Zayn mumbled from where his face was squished against Niall’s neck and Niall giggled as his breath tickled along his skin.

“I tried to suck your dick. I think that’s pretty nice,” Niall pointed out.

“Operative word there being ‘tried’,” Zayn snorted and Niall slapped him on the arse in punishment.

 

***

 

They headed into the club that night with wide smiles on their faces, Niall dressed in Zayn’s clothes since they hadn’t left Zayn’s bed until an hour ago.

Niall slipped into the booth beside Harry and Zayn slipped in across from him, next to Liam. Louis was up at the bar and when he glance back at the table Niall motioned for him to order pints for him and Zayn too.

“You look happy today,” Harry commented with a smile, sending sly glances over at Zayn who was playing on his phone and ignoring the rest of them as per usual. Niall smiled at little, feeling far too fond.

“Had a good day, that’s all,” Niall shrugged, answering Harry’s smile with one of his own.

Just then Louis yelled from the bar and gave them an incredulous look, pointing at the five beers he obviously couldn’t carry alone. Harry laughed and headed up to help him.

They came back with the drinks but the couple disappeared again quickly, going to dance together in the midst of the crowd, utterly wrapped up in one another as per usual. It warmed something in Niall's chest to see Harry looking so happy and not visibly vacant in the eyes from some form of narcotic. 

Zayn’s phone buzzed with his text tone and Niall watched on curiously as Zayn’s face filled with something almost like anger and he lifted his head to search the crowd. Niall frowned as Zayn stood and without a word walked off into the crowd. He tried to follow him with his eyes but there were too many people on the dance floor. Niall chewed on his lip worriedly.

“Hey, Ni? It’ll be okay. It’s probably nothing,” Liam said, speaking for the first time since Niall had sat down.

“Yeah, course,” Niall said with false chill, shrugging his shoulders and giving Liam a wide, fake smile. Liam gave him a concerned look that Niall purposefully ignored. Niall took a deep breath and forced himself to drop it, to realise that at the end of the day no matter how good things felt with Zayn they aren’t a couple and Niall has no right to pester him. A moment later though Louis came rushing to the table with a panicked look on his face.

“I went out for a fag and Zayn’s outside facing off with some bloke,” Louis rushed out and Niall and Liam were straight on their feet and following Louis out of the club. Niall glanced around for Harry but couldn’t find him.

Outside he found Zayn chest to chest with some big bloke with an angry expression, a group of girls and a couple lads surrounding them.

“Z, you okay?” Liam asked, going to stand near his friend and actually managing to look intimidating. All that boxing coming in handy for once. Niall moved forwards but stayed out of the way, more of a hindrance when it comes to fights.

“Zayn?” Niall murmured, and Zayn finally looked away from the unknown bloke and looked at Niall before facing off with the guy once more.

“Go inside, Niall,” Zayn barked and Niall gave the side of his head an incredulous look.

“What, you don’t want your little boyfriend knowing what you did, arsehole?” the unnamed guy snapped mockingly and Niall frowned.

“Zayn, what is he talking about?” Niall asked warily. Liam was starting to look worried and it made Niall anxious.

“Your boyfriend fucked my girlfriend last week,” the unnamed guy spat and Niall stopped breathing. Last week. When they’d stopped talking.

“Zayn?” Niall practically whispered, afraid of what was happening.

“He’s fucking insane. I didn’t shag your fucking girlfriend,” Zayn said casually but with enough venom that it even made Niall shiver.

“My mate watched her walk into your fucking house!” the other guy shouted, face almost bright red with anger.

Niall felt sick. He wrapped his arms around himself and swallowed back the bile that travelled up his throat. He’d trusted him. He was such a fucking idiot.

“She came to my house and begged me to fuck her but I didn’t,” Zayn said and he was almost taunting the guy now, and Niall didn’t know how much more he could stand to listen to. He felt Louis move closer to him and a reassuring hand was placed at the bottom of his spine.

“Like I’m gonna believe that load of bullshit!” the guy yelled.

“Look, maybe we all just need to calm down and talk about this,” Liam said calmly, taking a step closer.

“Fuck you! This prick slept with my lass!” the guy screamed at Liam and Zayn laughed mockingly.

“I didn’t fuck her last week. I did fuck her last month though. Absolutely shit lay. Were you together back then? Oh, and she sucked my dick in the toilettes here the same week as that. She might be a shit lay but she can suck dick like a champ,” Zayn taunted and that was it, Niall couldn’t handle this. He turned and practically ran down the road, heading towards his student housing. He heard Louis call his name and when he heard footsteps chasing after him, he carried on walking.

“Leave me alone, Lou!” Niall begged, not turning around.

“Niall! Wait, please!” Zayn yelled from behind him and Niall turned to find it was Zayn who’d chased after him, not Louis.

“Fuck off, Zayn! We’re done! Leave me the fuck alone!” Niall yelled, ignoring the tears that had started to leak down his face. Zayn caught up with him and he tried to grab Niall’s arm but the blond boy yanked away quickly.

“Niall, calm down!” Zayn begged, eyes wide and panicked. Niall stopped walking and turned on him.

“No! This is it! I’m not dealing with any more of your bullshit!” Niall yelled, desperately trying to hold back his tears and failing miserably.

“I didn’t fucking sleep with her!” Zayn yelled back, something like desperation swimming in his wide brown eyes.

“But you have!” Niall snapped, breathing heavily. “You’ve fucked everyone! How the fuck am I supposed to believe that you didn’t fuck her again last week!”

“Because I told you I didn’t! I’ve never fucking lied to you!” Zayn argued, arms spread wide.

“How the fuck do I know that?!” Niall demanded desperately, “You could have been sleeping with other people this entire fucking time!”

“I haven’t slept with anyone else but you!” Zayn practically screamed and Niall just shook his head sadly.

“Maybe I shouldn’t be so hurt. I have no right to even be mad at you. It’s not like we’re actually in a relationship,” Niall replied sadly, bitterly, before turning away and starting to walk again. There was silence behind him before he heard Zayn’s footsteps once again, but the boy didn’t say a word. “Why are you following me?” Niall snapped over his shoulder and Zayn gave him a determined look.

“I’m not leaving until you believe me,” Zayn said firmly and Niall snorted.

“Well, you’re gonna be following me for a long fucking time,” Niall muttered sourly.

When Niall walked into his house he swung the door shut behind him but Zayn caught it before it could slam closed. Niall huffed but blatantly ignored Zayn’s existence as he headed upstairs to his room. His roommate Claire wandered out in her pyjamas and gave Niall and Zayn a curious look.

“Hey, Niall,” Claire murmured.

“Hey, Claire-bear,” Niall said with a weak smile.

“Who’s he? Your boyfriend?” Claire asked with a teasing grin and Niall snorted.

“Yeah, I am. Hi, I’m Zayn,” Zayn said with a charming smile, holding out a hand to shake Claire’s, which she did with a confused glance at Niall’s face.

Claire went along the hall to the toilet and Niall stormed into his bedroom angrily. Once again trying to slam his door closed and once again Zayn caught it first. Niall went and shut his curtains as Zayn shut Niall’s bedroom door behind him. Niall tugged off his tshirt and screwed it in a ball, turning around to launch it at Zayn’s head. It covered his face and he heard Zayn sigh below the material before he tugged it off of his head.

“It takes me telling you we’re through for you to call me your fucking boyfriend. I’m so fucking done with this shit,” Niall fumed, unbuttoning his jeans and shoving them down his legs, kicking them off before walking to his drawers and pulling out a pair of pyjama pants. He slid his boxers down and, ignoring Zayn’s groan at the sight of him fully naked, pulled up his pyjama pants. He didn’t bother with a tshirt and stomped over to his bed, crawling onto the sheets and sitting cross legged there, pulling his pillow into his lap to hug.

Zayn sighed before kicking off his big black boots and crawling onto the bed beside Niall, sitting cross legged in front of him so that their knees touched. He leaned forwards to cup Niall’s face in his hands.

“I. Didn’t. Sleep. With. Her. Last. Week,” Zayn said calmly but firmly, never looking away from Niall’s eyes. Niall closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I want to believe you, but how can I? That guy said someone literally saw her going into your house,” Niall said, opening his eyes and frowning sadly at Zayn.

“Baby, I haven’t gone near another person,” Zayn said softly and Niall huffed frustrated.

“Can we please put something over your face whilst we have this conversation?” Niall whined and Zayn gave him a confused look. “You’re too pretty. I can’t fucking think straight when you’re looking at me like that! It’s unfair,” Niall whined before grabbing his blanket and throwing it over Zayn’s head.

“Seriously, Niall? Are we really doing this?” Zayn asked wearily from under Niall’s fluffy purple blanket.

“Yes, or you can leave, take your pick,” Niall said firmly. Zayn huffed.

“Fine. I’ll stay under the fucking blanket,” Zayn muttered mulishly.

“That guy saw her going into your house. Explain that,” Niall demanded and Zayn’s head nodded under the blanket.

“She literally just walked in. I was in the kitchen and I heard the front door open. I thought it was you at first,” Zayn said the last part so softly Niall almost missed it, but he heard it and his heart ached a little. “I walked out of the kitchen and she was stood there all dolled up with a huge grin on her face. I asked her what the fuck she was doing in my house and she came onto me. Pressed against my chest and tried to kiss me. I pushed her away and she huffed and left. That’s it,” Zayn said firmly and Niall gave the Zayn shaped blanket lump a considering look.

“You swear you didn’t fuck her?” Niall demanded.

“I swear I didn’t fuck her.” Zayn said firmly.

“But you fucked her last month, right?” Niall interrogated and the Zayn lump shifted nervously.

“It was before we started seeing each other,” Zayn muttered.

“And I’m better in bed than her, right?” Niall snapped and he heard Zayn huff out a little laugh.

“A hell of a lot better,” Zayn answered, and Niall could hear his smile.

“Fine. But from now on, I want honesty. We bump into someone at the pub and you’ve slept with them, I want to know,” Niall said decisively and the Zayn lump shook it’s head.

“Ni, baby, you can’t be fucking serious,” Zayn said incredulously.

“Take it or leave it. Either you tell me and we don’t have secrets, or you leave,” Niall said, sounding far more confident than he felt. He’d be fucking broken if Zayn walked out, but he needed to have boundaries.

“If I agree can I take the fucking blanket off of my head?” Zayn muttered and Niall bit down on his smile.

“Yes,” Niall said casually.

“Then yes, I’ll tell you who I’ve fucked,” Zayn sighed and Niall reached up to tug the blanket off of his head. A rumpled looking Zayn glared at him with a pout and Niall had to press a hand to his mouth to stop his laugh. Zayn lifted his hands to finger comb his messy hair before suddenly reaching out and grabbing Niall, pulling him to sit sideways between his crossed legs.

“You wanna stay here tonight?” Niall whispered a few moments later, wrapped in Zayn’s arms with his head tucked under Zayn’s chin. Zayn moved to press a soft kiss to Niall’s hair.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” he murmured and Niall smiled before moving from his lap to climb into bed. Unlike Zayn’s double bed Niall only had a single, so he crowded up against the wall as Zayn slipped out of the bed. He watched Zayn strip down to his boxers before climbing back in beside Niall, immediately tugging the blond boy into the circle of his arms. Niall reached over him and flipped the light switch, plunging the room into darkness.

It was the first time Zayn had stayed at his and it felt like a milestone for them, Zayn putting himself into someone else’s space and not running away from the implied commitment.

“You called me your boyfriend,” Niall murmured sleepily against Zayn’s chest and Zayn’s arms tightened around him.

“I did,” Zayn whispered into the dark room.

“Hmm,” Niall hummed.

“Did you like that?” Zayn whispered after a few moments. Niall nuzzled into his warmth.

“Yeah,” he sighed and Zayn seemed to let out the breath he’d been holding, his body relaxing.

“Good.”

Niall fell asleep a few moments later, once again forgetting to set his alarm for his morning lecture.

 

***

 

Niall and Zayn spent the morning in a kind of truce. They both skipped their classes and spent the day wrapped up in one another, a silent agreement made that they’d ignore their phones and just spend the day in one another's company. But when 4pm rolled around the incessant buzzing of their phones forced Niall to pay attention to the outside world. He leaned over the edge of the couch to grab his phone from the floor. It was a text off of Harry begging him to come to the pub. Zayn looked from his own phone screen to Niall.

“Louis?” Zayn asked with a raised brow.

“Harry,” Niall responded with a roll of his eyes. Zayn smiled and wrapped his hand around the back of Niall’s neck, tugging him into a soft kiss.

“I really fucking care about you,” Zayn murmured against his mouth, breath brushing Niall’s lips, and Niall couldn’t be blamed for the small sound that escaped his mouth as he moved forwards to straddle Zayn’s hips, kissing him hungrily. Zayn’s hands came up to grip his hips and Niall started to roll them, creating delicious friction between their hips, only Niall’s pyjama pants and Zayn’s boxers between them. Niall pulled his lips from Zayn’s reluctantly and stilled his hips, pressing his forehead to Zayn’s and breathing heavily.

“We can’t fuck on my couch,” Niall said breathlessly.

“Why not?” Zayn practically purred, tilting his head back to lean on the couch, jaw sharply defined under gorgeous stubble. Niall leaned down to nip at his jaw helplessly.

“Because Claire will be home soon and this is a public area,” Niall muttered, pulling back to look into Zayn’s eyes. He had that sloe eyed gaze, the deep, golden brown of his eyes filled with something that had Niall’s abdomen clenching in need.

“No one has to know,” Zayn murmured, biting down on his full lower lip and Niall pouted at him.

“Stop it,” he whined, making Zayn smirk cockily.

“Stop what?” Zayn said with a lazy grin. Niall frowned at him.

“You’re too attractive. Shut up,” Niall muttered mulishly, making Zayn laugh and tug him into a kiss with a possessive hold on the back of his neck.

“You’re beginning to give me a complex about my face,” Zayn murmured into his mouth, those beautiful lips curling into a wicked smile. Niall leaned back and raised one brow.

“Good. Now stop being so difficult. We need to shower and go meet the boys,” Niall said firmly but Zayn simply leaned up to kiss him hard, sliding his hands under Niall’s pyjama trousers to cup his bare arse cheeks in each hand. “Zayn,” Niall whined, pulling back and scrambling off of his lap quickly. The dark haired boy looked far too good laid out half naked on his couch.

Niall turned and walked upstairs without another word. He heard Zayn sigh and follow him a moment later and he smiled a little to himself.

He grabbed a pair of boxers from his room and went down the hall to the shared shower. He closed the door behind himself, not bothering to lock it since only Zayn was in the house, and flipped on the shower. He tugged off his dirty boxers, kicking them aside and placing his clean ones on the counter beside the sink. He stepped under the shower spray and pulled the ugly grey shower curtain shut.

He’s just finished washing the shampoo from his hair when he felt the draft of someone opening the shower curtain. He blinked the water out of his eyes and was unsurprised to find Zayn stepping into the shower behind him.

“Mind if I join?” Zayn grinned and Niall rolled his eyes before turning back around, letting Zayn crowd up against his back. He couldn’t help but sigh and melt against Zayn’s hard body when the dark haired boy began to kiss along his shoulder and up the side of his neck.

“We’re gonna be late,” Niall sighed, dropping his head back onto Zayn’s shoulder. Zayn’s hands stroked slowly up and down his sides, coming forwards to tickle over his hips before retreating back up his torso.

“Do I look like I give a fuck?” Zayn whispered directly in his ear and Niall shivered helplessly.

Zayn reached to grab Niall’s soap, pouring a large amount onto his hands that he then began to stroke over Niall’s pale body, covering him in a lather that let their skin slide together deliciously. When one of Zayn’s hands slipped between them the part Niall’s cheeks and brush against his hole, Niall gasped softly and his eyes fluttered shut.

“Can I?” Zayn whispered questioningly and Niall nodded jerkily. He felt Zayn’s lips curl into a smile where they were pressed to his neck.

Zayn carefully slid one soapy finger inside of Niall, the blond boy’s body still a little relaxed from when Zayn had woken him in the middle of the night with desperate kisses and gentle fingers, so the push wasn’t too difficult. When he slowly added another finger Niall’s breath stuttered out of him and Zayn’s free hand slid up his chest to cup the front of his neck in a proprietary hold that had Niall moaning softly in the back of his throat.

By the third finger Niall was breathing heavily and he moved a shaking hand behind himself to grip Zayn’s length where it was pressed against his arse. He stroked his hand up and down the best he could with the awkward angle and Zayn moaned softly against his shoulder, his fingers picking up speed and making Niall let out a high pitched whine that he’d deny later.

He moved his hand quicker and Zayn was coming over his lower back a few moments later, Niall removed his hand and used both hands to grip Zayn’s hips behind him as Zayn fucked his fingers in and out of him, letting out a long groan when Zayn managed to consistently hit his prostate over and over again. When Zayn's other handmoved to stroke over his erection he came with a deep moan of Zayn’s name, clenching down on his fingers, his hips pressing back into the touch until he came down from his high and slumped against the slightly taller boy’s chest. Zayn wrapped his arms around Niall to keep him up, pressing kisses to his pale shoulder in comfort.

“Shit,” Niall breathed and Zayn’s huffed a laugh against his skin.

They got washed and dried quickly after that, both of them dressing in Niall’s clothes before heading out to the pub. They held hands as they walked in and it gave Niall a thrill to be doing that so publicly. He leaned over to speak into Zayn’s ear as they stepped into the pub.

“Remember what you promised,” Niall warned and Zayn rolled his eyes but gave him a nod.

They headed over to the bar, Niall crossing his arms on the surface and leaning over it to get the bartender’s attention whilst Zayn stood behind him with his hands on Niall’s hips and his lips pressed to the back of his neck.

When Niall had paid for the two beers and both boys turned from the bar with a beer apiece, they found they’d been surrounded by a group of maybe six pretty blonde girls. Of course.

“Hey, Zayn. Long time no see,” one of the leggy blondes said with a sly smile.

Niall took one look over her and knew. He turned to Zayn with a raised brow and the other boy blushed instantly.

“Which one?” Niall asked calmly, arms crossed over his chest, ignoring the questioning look from the girl who’d spoken.

“Uh . . .” Zayn hesistated, glancing at the faces of each girl quickly before turning back to Niall with a sheepish expression, “All of them?” Zayn continued hesitantly and Niall smacked him in the stomach.

“Um. Are you okay?” the blonde girl asked with a confused frown.

“Okay, I deserved that,” Zayn groaned from where he was doubled over slightly, arm around his stomach and facing the floor.

Niall held his hand out to the girl who shook it with a baffled expression: “Hi, I’m Niall, Zayn’s boyfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the update, please comment and let me know what you think :)
> 
> I'm thinking there'll be one more chapter left of this fic so let me know if there's anything you want to see in it! 
> 
> I'm over on tumblr at thedeliciousrude if you'd like to come say hi :)
> 
> Thank you for reading xxx

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think :)
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at http://thedeliciousrude.tumblr.com/
> 
> xxx


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